MD and me x

[Asterdai]

I am having a hard time at home recently, i can blame everyone or everything but i have been having RL problems which i cannot sort out at the moment. Mainly a safe enviroment to live, which has caused problems with my job, social life and everything else to do with that, i.e money etc.
Having spent hundreds of hours enjoying MD it is something which i need to get back into, but i cant when i can only come on and off and not dedicate my free time without getting hassled and stressed over it. It became and extra pressure and burden to worry about things which normally i was able to cope with. And i dont want to bring my issues into the game and spoil the happy go lucky character which i enjoy playin. a "character" which is in fact the way i mostly spend my life being like at work and when i socialise.

All this and at a time where being on MD is essential, where everyone gets together to celebrate and put "differences" aside, and come together as a community. I participated in two small contests and experienced the excitement of exploring the new area in the tribunal when it was opened, and those "small" things made me realise how much MD has to offer me still, and i intend to make it a big part of my life again when i have a safe place to stay and am comfortable in myself to play the game the way i want to and need to.

It hurts me a lot to think about what i have been and will be missing out on in this birthday celebration week, but that only reminds me of how much i have missed out on in the past two months, whilst i have been away trying to get my head together in my unsettled "state". My worst fear is that i would bring these problems into the game and ruin everything i have tried hard to create, let alone the fear of not being able to commit to even simple things such as contacting people and being there for them as they have for me.

Its not something that can be talked about or needs to be, just i need to "hold on tight" until i am able to appreciate and be in a situation where i can immerse myself without issues.
For me this isnt a "point and click" game where you can drop in and out where you can, it would only make me feel isolated and lost. I look forward to the time where i can just be myself again and commit, and i hope that time is near x x x x
Cant wait to see you all again!!

Aster