Avatar of Pain

[Aeoshattr]

Though the moment may be inopportune, I would like to affirm Aeo's role and perhaps popularise it enough so that it is validated by the community as well. In order to do that, I must first present the role, or so I believe.

 

The story behind this is inside Aeo's "Comments on Self" page; I will avoid posting a text-wall here, so to those interested, it's one click away when you run into him around.

 

To put it in a nutshell, due to events in his past (call them pre-MD) and due to his life in the realm of MD so far, Aeo considers himself the incarnation of Pain, Anguish or Misery; he refers to it (and so do I) usually as merely "Pain" - experiences that have accumulated, condensed and coalesced into nothing more than Pain, which he keeps locked within. 

I do not believe this short description does the role justice, however for those that do not wish to read Aeo's Comms on Self, I felt the need to present it briefly.

 

Why do this?

Mostly because I have not had the chance to RP anything related to Aeo's role recently and I hope that this way, I will get something going. After all, RP is what I enjoy about MD (for the most part).

Ulterior motives? As I have nothing to hide, I might as well spit it out. I personally believe it is something very innocent and reasonable: I aspire to a title and perhaps a description, though those may be far away. 

 

Why "pain"? There are many kinds of pain, and many ways in which pain  can be seen. This will be discussed in a sermon.

 

How will I do this?

 

1. A series of three Sermons on Pain, each held at a location to be announced before the event. I will post dates and times here, along with a short description of what each Sermon will approach.

 

2. A short gathering with storytelling on the themes brought up by the Sermons (consider this "homework").

 

3. A quest of Pain; while I have it planned out, I must sort out various technical details, thus I will not post it until it is ready.

 

 

I kindly invite anyone interested to participate. I will post the details here, as soon as possible.

By all means, if anyone feels there is something that I need to clarify regarding other aspects of this other than scheduling, please point it out and I will do my best.

 

EDIT: Realised I missed out a whole chunk of the post. Oopsy.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

First sermon of Pain:

 

Date&Time: Sunday, 16th of November, 22:00 ST

Location: Path of Loneliness

Topic: Definition, Introduction, Short debates on ways to define and see pain.

 

 

All are welcome - my only request is that if you decide to attend, please also actively participate. I will try and make this as interactive as possible, I don't want to hold a lecture.

 

LOGS (cleaned):

[spoiler]

[16/11/14 22:00] :Aeoshattr holds his right arm out to the side, making the five obsidian orbs roll out from his sleeve and float around him
[16/11/14 22:02] Aeoshattr:I will wait a few more minutes, in case anyone is running late.
[16/11/14 22:02] Lintara:Ohhh... *watches the orbs with an expression of a playful kitten* .
[16/11/14 22:02] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Careful. You don't want to touch those.
[16/11/14 22:03] :Assira the Black leans against the wall
[16/11/14 22:03] Lintara: *jumps slightly at the sound, blinking, then shakes her head and chuckles* Right!
[16/11/14 22:03] Aeoshattr: *nods* Assira.
[16/11/14 22:03] Lintara: *smiles and waves* Hi Assira!
[16/11/14 22:04] Assira the Black:Hello.
[16/11/14 22:04] :Ailith smiles and nods to Assira
[16/11/14 22:04] Azkhael:As always, if anyone would require me to stop attacking, you need only ask.
[16/11/14 22:04] Assira the Black:How are things going?
[16/11/14 22:05] Azkhael:Hello, Azull, Assira.
[16/11/14 22:05] Lintara:Well so far, thanks. How about you? Hi Azull!
[16/11/14 22:05] Aeoshattr: *chuckles, holding one orb in his right hand, stroking his thumb over it, seemingly breaking a shard off* I would say things are going well.
[16/11/14 22:05] Aeoshattr: *bows his head* King Azull.
[16/11/14 22:05] Azull: *nods* Greetings
[16/11/14 22:06] :Assira the Black nods to Azull
[16/11/14 22:07] :Aeoshattr chuckles, letting the orb float away, holding a sharp black sliver in his fingers
[16/11/14 22:08] Aeoshattr:Well then, I will get started; to begin, I would like to thank you all for taking some of your time to be here.
[16/11/14 22:09] Aeoshattr: *holds the sliver in his palm, closing his fist around it* I believe I am correct in saying that pain is a part of each and everyone's life - an aspect that is unavoidable and, in a way, necessary
[16/11/14 22:10] :Aeoshattr chuckles, pacing around slowly
[16/11/14 22:11] Aeoshattr:Pain is easy to understand, isn't it?
[16/11/14 22:11] Lintara:Hurm, it's not exactly a very fun thing.... *shrugs and smiles* But it happens.
[16/11/14 22:11] Aeoshattr:Even the most primitive creature reacts to it; it may react to nothing else, but it will certainly react to pain.
[16/11/14 22:12] Aeoshattr:However, in the case of creatures like us... pain can sometimes mean more. If I were to ask how could one classify pain, what would you suggest?
[16/11/14 22:14] Assira the Black:mental, physical, spritual, duration, and intensity.
[16/11/14 22:14] Aeoshattr: *nods* Spot on, Assira. *grins* .
[16/11/14 22:15] Aeoshattr:Indeed, we usually split pain largely into emotional and physical and then further into acute or dull.
[16/11/14 22:16] Aeoshattr:Yet I dare ask - is this not artificial? *opens his palm, holding the black sliver between his index and middle fingers*
[16/11/14 22:16] Aeoshattr:To an extent... Physical and emotional pain are truly different; both in what caused them and in what can alleviate them.
[16/11/14 22:17] :Aeoshattr slowly pushes the sharp shard through his left palm
[16/11/14 22:18] :Ailith watches Aeo thoughtfully
[16/11/14 22:19] Aeoshattr:However, the division between the two is artificial, I believe. Why so? Sometimes, physical pain and emotional pain are indistinguishable.
[16/11/14 22:19] Aeoshattr:Especially to the one experiencing them.
[16/11/14 22:20] Aeoshattr:However, what I believe is truly worth looking into is the difference between sharp, acute pain and the dull, throbbing pain.
[16/11/14 22:21] Aeoshattr:Could someone think of an example of each?
[16/11/14 22:21] Aeoshattr:Say... I thrust this shard through my palm.
[16/11/14 22:21] Aeoshattr:At first, the physical pain is acute. Sharp, like the shard
[16/11/14 22:22] Aeoshattr:However, if I wait, that pain will vanish and within minutes, it will be replaced by a different sensation.
[16/11/14 22:22] Aeoshattr: *slowly pulls the shard out, some blood trickling down his fingers* Now can anyone give me an example of emotional pain behaving that way?
[16/11/14 22:24] Azkhael:First, I must ask you, in what way are they indistinguishable?
[16/11/14 22:24] Assira the Black:Heartbreak then loneliness. *shrugs*
[16/11/14 22:25] Aeoshattr: *grins* Well, I am glad someone asked. I had hoped to get away with that.
[16/11/14 22:25] Aeoshattr: *also nods at Assira* Again, spot on.
[16/11/14 22:26] Aeoshattr:The way in which our minds and bodies react to pain, both emotional and physical, is very similar, especially after exceeding a certain threshold.
[16/11/14 22:28] Aeoshattr:Furthermore, physical pain is often numbed by emotional pain.
[16/11/14 22:28] Aeoshattr:Now I am uncertain if this also goes the other way around - it could be an aspect worth exploring.
[16/11/14 22:29] Aeoshattr:Now why do you think there is this distinction between immediate pain and the one that comes after a while?
[16/11/14 22:32] Azkhael:Physical pain and psychological suffering share have some common elements, including in those areas they are processed; physical pain is psychologically influenceable (...)
[16/11/14 22:32] Azkhael:to a given extent, and so the other way around.
[16/11/14 22:33] AmberRune:Brain in disbelief. More shocked immediately, wakes up and collects sensory information after a while
[16/11/14 22:33] Aeoshattr: *nods* That is correct, indeed. Often psychological pain can be felt directly as physical pain (psychosomatic)
[16/11/14 22:33] Aeoshattr: *nods at Amber* That is what I was getting at. Realisation.
[16/11/14 22:34] Aeoshattr: (not 100% correct irl, but close enough; no point in going into minute details about types of neurons)
[16/11/14 22:34] Aeoshattr:Most of the time, Realisation - understanding of the implications that whatever caused the acute pain hurt more.
[16/11/14 22:34] Aeoshattr: (hurts*)
[16/11/14 22:35] Azkhael:But those differences and similarities are most likely the result of the still dominantly phenomenological understanding of pain.
[16/11/14 22:37] Aeoshattr:In a way, yes. You could say they are "laymen's" classifications.
[16/11/14 22:37] Azkhael:In all likelihood (...) there are systems exclusive to either of the two, and some mutual.
[16/11/14 22:37] Aeoshattr:Indeed, there is likely overlap between the two - it is arguable whether the two are separable or not, however.
[16/11/14 22:39] :Aeoshattr prods the skin below his wrist with the shard, between pushing it through
[16/11/14 22:39] Aeoshattr:Hm, between the bones. *chuckles*
[16/11/14 22:40] :Lintara jumps at the sight
[16/11/14 22:41] Aeoshattr: *rubs his chin* I would like to argue if pain is necessary.
[16/11/14 22:42] Aeoshattr:Either kind - despite the slight artificiality and inaccuracy of the classification. Do we truly need pain? After all, there are few that draw enjoyment from it.
[16/11/14 22:43] Lintara: *sighs, settles back down* Well, pain's usually a warning that something's wrong, isn't it?
[16/11/14 22:45] Aeoshattr: *nods* You could argue it's meant to keep you away from danger.
[16/11/14 22:45] Aeoshattr: *pulls the shard out of his wrist, holding it in his palm* To make a comparison, one could make the argument that fear is also meant to keep us away from danger.
[16/11/14 22:47] Aeoshattr:Would you agree they are similar in that way?
[16/11/14 22:49] :Assira the Black nods
[16/11/14 22:49] Lintara:Hurm, not exactly. Fear usually keeps from danger that might happen while pain warns that you are in danger right now.
[16/11/14 22:49] :Aeoshattr nods at Lin
[16/11/14 22:50] Aeoshattr:Yet that applies to the acute pain, and most of the time to physical pain only.
[16/11/14 22:50] Azkhael:I would concur, on the matter of biological desirability, at least.
[16/11/14 22:51] Azkhael:Though one could also claim that fear may fulfill a biologically advantageous function in social structures.
[16/11/14 22:51] Azkhael:And that, itself, may have been an advantage.
[16/11/14 22:52] Rophs:If I'm scared of something that'll end up eating me and avoid being eaten then that means the fear is working.
[16/11/14 22:52] Rophs: *nods* And I haven't been eaten yet, so I think it's going a good job.
[16/11/14 22:52] :Aeoshattr nods
[16/11/14 22:53] Aeoshattr:In a biological sense, fear and pain are similar. However, there are also instances where fear does us a disservice. And similarly, so does pain.
[16/11/14 22:54] Aeoshattr:To bring the analogy back around: fear of crowds. Fear of speaking out. Fear of rejection.
[16/11/14 22:55] Aeoshattr:They surely aren't trying to keep you out of harm's way. If anything... their purpose is to avoid pain, not to prevent danger. *chuckles*
[16/11/14 22:55] Aeoshattr:And that may restrict rather than protect sometimes.
[16/11/14 22:55] Aeoshattr:Similarly... pain. What is the purpose of grieving?
[16/11/14 22:56] Azkhael:Fear of rejection is more an advantage than a disadvantage, perceived within social cohesion.
[16/11/14 22:56] Azkhael:And let us say that social cohesion was, itself, advantageous to our survival.
[16/11/14 22:57] Aeoshattr:It may be beneficial to society - but not to the individual, not directly. *chuckles*
[16/11/14 22:58] AmberRune:if they're not removed or shunned by the group, they get to have safety in numbers. What's not individual about that?
[16/11/14 22:59] Aeoshattr:However, they must live with the pain, the constant fear of rejection.
[16/11/14 22:59] AmberRune:fear in that case isn't pain
[16/11/14 23:00] Aeoshattr:They are not the same, indeed. I used it as an analogy to bring up a point I believed to be relevant.
[16/11/14 23:01] Aeoshattr:What is the purpose of emotional pain?
[16/11/14 23:03] Azkhael:In nature, a social animal's survival is directly attached to that of their society.
[16/11/14 23:04] Azkhael:Not exclusively so, but proportionally so.
[16/11/14 23:07] Aeoshattr:Hm. *nods* Perhaps. But then again, that would be of use to the society rather than the individual.
[16/11/14 23:08] Rophs:Societies with this trait would prevail over societies lacking it, perhaps explaining why it is now so widespread.
[16/11/14 23:08] :Aeoshattr nods
[16/11/14 23:10] Aeoshattr:That may be. At any rate, I do not wish to encroach too much on Rophs' seedwalk.
[16/11/14 23:10] Aeoshattr:Furthermore, I do not wish to talk too much about what I have planned for the next sermon *chuckles*
[16/11/14 23:10] Rophs:Take as much time as you need, I insist.
[16/11/14 23:11] Aeoshattr: (I only planned taking one hour for this and it seems I've already covered just about everything I wanted to. For today)
[16/11/14 23:12] Aeoshattr:I would like, however, hearing more about what you think - if interested, I will set a question that I would like you to answer in a few lines.
[16/11/14 23:12] Rophs:Homework?
[16/11/14 23:12] Aeoshattr: (i.e. if you commit to this, let me know and I'll send you the question)
[16/11/14 23:12] Aeoshattr: *nods* You can call it that.
[16/11/14 23:13] Ailith: *hands up* I would like to receive the question
[16/11/14 23:14] Azkhael:Rophs, while it is not as easy to apply that thought to biology, what you speak of is comprehensively regarded by axiology.
[16/11/14 23:14] Assira the Black: *nods* I too would like the questions.
[16/11/14 23:14] Azkhael: (...) that societal forms and sets of values that lent to a greater social cohesion would often prevail over others that did not, as it favored those societies in competition.
[16/11/14 23:18] Aeoshattr: (Will type question and send it out; anyone else other than Ailith and Assira?)
[16/11/14 23:18] Rophs: [Forum link]
[16/11/14 23:20] Azkhael:Thank you for the notification, Rophs.
[16/11/14 23:20] Azkhael: (I'd be interested in your question, Aeoshattr)
[16/11/14 23:21] :Ailith nods to Rophs and smiles
[16/11/14 23:21] :[Spell] To my parchment scrollbook

 

[/spoiler]

 

TL;DR (summary)

[spoiler]

Pain can be categorised based on source (physical vs emotional) and based on characteristics (acute vs dull). Pain can exist in a multitude of combinations of those 4 arbitrarily defined types - but can also be different from either (as it was mentioned, trying to fit pain into "boxes" may be artificial, as there are overlaps between types).

[/spoiler]

Edited February 25, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

Second sermon of Pain:

 

Date&Time: Wednesday, 26th of November, 22:00 ST

Location: Path of loneliness

Topic: Necessity of Pain, short term and long term implications. 

 

As always, all are welcome. Submit your homework if you haven't yet! 

Also remember to jump in and contribute at any moment during the sermon, if you have something to say.

 

LOGS (cleaned):

[spoiler]

[26/11/14 22:12] Aeoshattr:Hmm. *looks at the sky* Perhaps it is time to start?
[26/11/14 22:15] Aeoshattr:Shall I?
[26/11/14 22:15] :*Sunfire* nods
[26/11/14 22:15] Lania:You shall, as I know that in an hour or 2 you'll turn in a sleepy head.  :P
[26/11/14 22:15] Aeoshattr:It shouldn't take more than an hour *smiles*
[26/11/14 22:16] Aeoshattr:Anyway, thank you all for coming.
[26/11/14 22:16] Lania: *whispers to Lin* Can't attack that one. No alliance. *turns and nods at Aeo* .
[26/11/14 22:17] Aeoshattr:Last time, I believe we discussed the ways in which pain can be classified and whether those classifications are accurate or not
[26/11/14 22:18] Aeoshattr:I also believe I introduced the concept of necessity of pain - which I would like to discuss today
[26/11/14 22:20] Aeoshattr:So... I will begin by stating that I believe pain is necessary. Both physical and emotional, both acute and dull pain. Do you all agree?
[26/11/14 22:20] Lania:Yes.
[26/11/14 22:20] *Sunfire*:yes
[26/11/14 22:21] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Then let me reiterate a question from last time. What is the purpose of grieving?
[26/11/14 22:21] Lania:Learning?
[26/11/14 22:21] Aeoshattr:Please, go on Lani *smiles*
[26/11/14 22:21] *Sunfire*:to form a counter for happyness
[26/11/14 22:22] :Lintara smiles and waves to Azull and continues listening
[26/11/14 22:22] Lania:Well. The most painful lessons are the best remembered and, as Sunny says, in order to appreciate the state of being well, you need its counter part.
[26/11/14 22:23] Aeoshattr: *bows his head to Azull before continuing* I was on the verge of disagreeing with what Sun said, but yes, you have a point, Lani.
[26/11/14 22:23] Aeoshattr:In a way - one could argue that grieving for someone that is -dead- has no purpose at all. It will not bring them back. It will not help you move on.
[26/11/14 22:23] Aeoshattr:However, what Lani said is not incorrect either - one cannot appreciate happiness without times of pain.
[26/11/14 22:24] Lania:No, but at some point its a natural reaction.
[26/11/14 22:24] Aeoshattr: *nods* Of course - and nature rarely does something without a purpose. That is what I was trying to get at. If grieving is natural... what is its purpose? How does it help the individual?
[26/11/14 22:25] Lania:Well...there are a few theories.
[26/11/14 22:25] *Sunfire*: *nods to Lania* we have an emotional response to a feeling of missing from something that formed our life for a part
[26/11/14 22:25] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Please, go on
[26/11/14 22:25] Aeoshattr:Both of you
[26/11/14 22:26] Lania:One would be: making the individual stronger, emotionally. Second would be that it helps with relieving the tension.
[26/11/14 22:26] *Sunfire*:by having a sort of emotional pain, we can get a closure on this feeling since we have had a sensation of suffering from this lack
[26/11/14 22:26] Lania:That's what comes to mind now, anyway.
[26/11/14 22:27] :Aeoshattr nods
[26/11/14 22:28] Aeoshattr:I quite agree with that - both of you, on this matter. Pain does indeed enforce a closure to the weakened state an individual is left in after losing someone.
[26/11/14 22:28] *Sunfire*:when we have learned to harnass this feeling we can learn to reuse the spot where the past person/item used to be
[26/11/14 22:29] :Lania agrees
[26/11/14 22:29] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* But do you truly wish to recycle that spot?
[26/11/14 22:29] blackshade rider:i am here Aeoshattr
[26/11/14 22:29] Aeoshattr: *grins* I will leave this particular example for next time - though think about it, if you so wish
[26/11/14 22:29] :Lintara smiles and waves to Blackshade
[26/11/14 22:30] *Sunfire*:we need to, our "capacity" is limited
[26/11/14 22:30] Lania:Sometimes you have no choice.
[26/11/14 22:30] :Aeoshattr nods to blackshade
[26/11/14 22:31] Aeoshattr:Well then, I actually got very satisfactory answers - That was, I think, the toughest question I had.
[26/11/14 22:33] Aeoshattr:Let's see. *rubs his chin*
[26/11/14 22:33] Lania:So...time for homework? *chuckes*
[26/11/14 22:33] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Not yet. I still have a few more points.
[26/11/14 22:33] Aeoshattr: *rubs his chin* Well then, thinking about this realm.
[26/11/14 22:34] Aeoshattr:To the most basic level... despite our perception, we are mostly heat. I dare say little to no matter exists in our composition.
[26/11/14 22:34] Aeoshattr:Anyone disagrees?
[26/11/14 22:34] *Sunfire*:"our"?
[26/11/14 22:35] Lania:I'm not sure what to say about that, really.
[26/11/14 22:35] Aeoshattr: *nods, taking out one of his knives, slashing his wrist and watching the blood drip down* What do you see here?
[26/11/14 22:35] Lania:A masochist. *chuckles*
[26/11/14 22:35] Lintara:You cutting yourself again. And bleeding. Again.
[26/11/14 22:36] blackshade rider:you offer to the shades
[26/11/14 22:36] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* More specifically.
[26/11/14 22:36] Aeoshattr:The wound bleeds, does it not?
[26/11/14 22:36] Lania:A bleeding vein and lots of mess. Yes.
[26/11/14 22:36] blackshade rider:yes
[26/11/14 22:36] Aeoshattr:But can we be sure it's really blood, or that it is just something we perceive as blood?
[26/11/14 22:37] *Sunfire*:depends on what you describe as blood
[26/11/14 22:37] Lania:We'd need and expert. *looks for Eara* Unfortunatelly we don't have one
[26/11/14 22:38] blackshade rider:blood is an energy source
[26/11/14 22:38] *Sunfire*:if it is the life liquid of a living form, then yes
[26/11/14 22:38] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Well, my point is... we see it as blood, but can't be sure it's real blood.
[26/11/14 22:38] :*Sunfire* nods to blackrider
[26/11/14 22:38] Aeoshattr:We can't even be sure it's a liquid *chuckles* What's your blood, Sun?
[26/11/14 22:39] *Sunfire*:i call it liquid fire or liquid sunshine, i dont really know what it is
[26/11/14 22:39] blackshade rider:it not liquid nor solid it is both
[26/11/14 22:39] Lania:Liquid sunshine. *chuckles to herself* That is soo..cute.
[26/11/14 22:39] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Well, going back. If my assumption is correct and there is indeed very little matter to us... Then what exactly -is- pain for us?
[26/11/14 22:40] Aeoshattr: (and yes, Sunfire's made of sunshine and unicorn puke)
[26/11/14 22:40] *Sunfire*:a mental stymulus
[26/11/14 22:40] Lania:Alteration of our original form?
[26/11/14 22:40] Lania:Violent alteration, of course.
[26/11/14 22:40] :Aeoshattr points to Lani
[26/11/14 22:41] Aeoshattr:Physical pain, indeed!
[26/11/14 22:41] Aeoshattr:Or... what we perceive as physical pain at least.
[26/11/14 22:41] Aeoshattr:Emotional pain should be unaffected by what form we take, am I correct?
[26/11/14 22:42] Lania:No. Because the chemical reactions in a living body influence the mental state.
[26/11/14 22:42] *Sunfire*:unless the pain is based on our displeasure of our form, but other than that, no
[26/11/14 22:42] Lania:Or something like that....
[26/11/14 22:42] blackshade rider:but how can we be sure that we arent already in our original form but instead a spell unpon us to make us blind to the matter
[26/11/14 22:42] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Correct, both of you!
[26/11/14 22:43] Aeoshattr:Hm. I would suppose you can test that by looking at the surroundings, Blackshade
[26/11/14 22:43] Aeoshattr:And how we seem to interact with the world. Our interaction shouldn't be limited by our perception, in most ways.
[26/11/14 22:43] *Sunfire*:because your surroundings are okay, doesnt mean you are rightly formed
[26/11/14 22:44] *Sunfire*:both mentally and physically
[26/11/14 22:44] Aeoshattr:Let's say Val can't see. If I put a boulder in his way so he trips: he can't see the boulder, but he trips on it. The boulder exists
[26/11/14 22:44] blackshade rider:yes but what if the surrondings are always changing then how can you be sure mentally and phsicaly
[26/11/14 22:45] *Sunfire*:can he be certain it is a boulder?
[26/11/14 22:45] blackshade rider:or was it an illusion
[26/11/14 22:45] Aeoshattr:No - however the boulder is independent of his perception. It is there whether he sees it or not
[26/11/14 22:45] Aeoshattr:He only knows he tripped on something.
[26/11/14 22:46] Aeoshattr:Thus interaction can tell us about this world - at least in broad terms.
[26/11/14 22:46] Aeoshattr:Returning. If we are indeed beings of heat, then I am unsure about the exact way in which emotional pain originates and manifests.
[26/11/14 22:46] *Sunfire*:very basic information tho
[26/11/14 22:46] Valoryn: *shakes his walking stick* Or he can be smart enough to use his stick and avoid tripping on the boulder.
[26/11/14 22:46] :Lania chuckles
[26/11/14 22:47] :Aeoshattr chuckles at Val
[26/11/14 22:47] Aeoshattr:I have two hypotheses, so far:
[26/11/14 22:47] Aeoshattr:One: there is no correlation between physical and emotional pain.
[26/11/14 22:48] Aeoshattr:If we are beings of heat, the emotional and physical pains are separate. The interconnections between them are severed because there is no body, per se.
[26/11/14 22:49] Aeoshattr:Thus physical pain originates from a modification of our form, and the emotional pain has a purely mental origin
[26/11/14 22:49] Aeoshattr:However, I have a second hypothesis, which I am currently inclined more to
[26/11/14 22:50] :Lania listens
[26/11/14 22:50] Aeoshattr:Emotional and physical pain are identical for us.
[26/11/14 22:50] Aeoshattr:Our form is our mind - our soul. We are beings of heat.
[26/11/14 22:51] Aeoshattr:Thus an alteration of our form which would result in physical pain also corresponds to a "direct" emotional wound
[26/11/14 22:51] blackshade rider:yes but what happens if we run out of heat we perish
[26/11/14 22:51] Aeoshattr: *nods* If you run -completely- out of heat, you die, by a standard definition of death.
[26/11/14 22:51] Lania:Like...like getting gastritis from too much suffering >_>
[26/11/14 22:51] Aeoshattr:You are erased. If you lose all stable and unstable heat
[26/11/14 22:52] :Aeoshattr nods to Lani and then points to the gaping hole in his chest
[26/11/14 22:52] Lania: *gasps a little, eyes wide open* Oh...
[26/11/14 22:53] *Sunfire*:our mind can be seperated from our form
[26/11/14 22:53] *Sunfire*:for example when we die
[26/11/14 22:53] Lania: *whispers to Aeo* If there's anything left of your heart, the little spider will mend it with webs. *smiles* .
[26/11/14 22:53] Aeoshattr: *nods* I currently cannot explain ghosts.
[26/11/14 22:54] Aeoshattr:However, it takes death to separate our mind from our soul, if that is the only example. I can't think of a different one
[26/11/14 22:54] Aeoshattr: (mind from form)
[26/11/14 22:54] Justin Case:astral projection?
[26/11/14 22:55] *Sunfire*:when we dream we enter a differnt perception, is it out of form?
[26/11/14 22:55] Lania:Could be, Justin.
[26/11/14 22:55] Aeoshattr:Dreams are... very real here.
[26/11/14 22:55] :Aeoshattr chuckles
[26/11/14 22:55] Azrafar:Hmm...
[26/11/14 22:55] Aeoshattr:Ask Raven, if you get the chance.
[26/11/14 22:56] blackshade rider:yes but can we control what happens in it
[26/11/14 22:56] Aeoshattr:To an extent, yes.
[26/11/14 22:56] *Sunfire*:lucid dreaming
[26/11/14 22:57] Aeoshattr: (dreams are an actual thing in MD o.o)
[26/11/14 22:57] :Azrafar nods
[26/11/14 22:57] Aeoshattr: (Though I don't know anyone else capable of putting you in a dream other than Raven)
[26/11/14 22:57] Lintara: ( *coughs* Rhaegar *coughs* )
[26/11/14 22:57] blackshade rider:yes because it is the depth of the dream that makes us see what could be the real world as to what is fake
[26/11/14 22:57] *Sunfire*: (Princ Rhaegar, and Phantom used to)
[26/11/14 22:58] :Lania nods at Azrafar
[26/11/14 22:58] Aeoshattr: *nods* Returning. *rubs his chin* .
[26/11/14 22:58] Aeoshattr:Hm. *reads through a scroll* I actually think I went through most points I wanted to go through for today
[26/11/14 22:59] Aeoshattr:Are there any aspects of Pain, related to our conversation, that anyone would like to raise?
[26/11/14 22:59] :Lania thinks, thinks
[26/11/14 23:00] Lania:I wanted to ask what of the ones that enjoy pain, but I am nit sure if its relevant.
[26/11/14 23:00] *Sunfire*:is there a thing as permanent pain?
[26/11/14 23:01] Aeoshattr: *nods* I believe permanent pain exists, indeed.
[26/11/14 23:02] :Lintara smiles and waves to Ailith
[26/11/14 23:02] Aeoshattr:As for pain enjoyment... I wanted to ask about that. It's quite peculiar, isn't it?
[26/11/14 23:02] :Ailith smiles warmly to all and curtsies
[26/11/14 23:02] :*Sunfire* smiles at Ailith and nods
[26/11/14 23:02] Lania:It is. Do they actually learn anything if they enjoy it?
[26/11/14 23:03] Azrafar:I missed most of it, but yes, pain enjoyment is interesting.
[26/11/14 23:03] Aeoshattr: *nods* Indeed! Does Pain serve its purpose for them, then?
[26/11/14 23:04] Azrafar:Hmmm... I remember once I enjoyed pain. It made me laugh.
[26/11/14 23:04] *Sunfire*:just like permanent happyness, i think it starts losing its meaning then, it becomes "normal"
[26/11/14 23:05] Aeoshattr: *nods* The way I see pain enjoyment... I see it with thresholds.
[26/11/14 23:05] Lania:Oh! And what of those who cause themselves pain to escape another form of pain.
[26/11/14 23:05] Aeoshattr:Pain could be enjoyed to a point, but afterwards, it does become true Pain again.
[26/11/14 23:06] Aeoshattr: *nods to Lani* I think I hinted at that last time. A greater pain can numb a lesser one.
[26/11/14 23:06] Azrafar:Well, it all depends wich kind of pain. physical pain can cause a pain response.
[26/11/14 23:06] Lania:Oh. *smiles* I missed the other one. Sorry.
[26/11/14 23:07] Aeoshattr:No need to be sorry, Lani *smiles*
[26/11/14 23:07] *Sunfire*:what of those claiming to be immune of pain
[26/11/14 23:07] Aeoshattr:As for permanent pain, yes, Sun is right. It becomes "normal". All long-termed stimuli cause adaptation and become "normal"
[26/11/14 23:08] Aeoshattr:There are, indeed, some incapable of feeling pain. However, they can't draw pleasure from it if they can't feel it, can they?
[26/11/14 23:08] Azrafar:I think those who are "immune" developed a rapid strong response to it.
[26/11/14 23:08] *Sunfire*:how is it possible?
[26/11/14 23:08] Lania:I think they are either very strong in andurance or their pain receptors don't work well.
[26/11/14 23:09] Azrafar:Ignoring pain needs strong will and self control. Embracing it is an entirely differnt matter.
[26/11/14 23:09] Aeoshattr: *nods* Those that are truly immune cannot perceive pain. Like eye-less people can't perceive light
[26/11/14 23:09] Aeoshattr:Ignoring pain is something different.
[26/11/14 23:10] Azrafar:Oh, I see.
[26/11/14 23:11] *Sunfire*:are they still a full form if they cannot perceive pain?
[26/11/14 23:11] Aeoshattr: (Though there is a very interesting case in which you can "sense" light but not "perceive" it. I.E your eyes function, but you are not aware of light)
[26/11/14 23:12] Lania:They could be, just evolved differently. But what way of learning, similar to ours through pain, do they have?
[26/11/14 23:12] Aeoshattr: *nods* They can be. But if they cannot perceive pain, then they ought to take good care of their form, as they are unlikely to realise if something goes wrong
[26/11/14 23:12] Lania:or would they have.  :P
[26/11/14 23:12] Azrafar:Yes, not feeling pain is not always beneficial. In fact, it is rarely beneficial.
[26/11/14 23:16] Aeoshattr: *to Lani* I'd say that's something for next time
[26/11/14 23:16] Lania:Oh...I am not sure if this is relevant, but pain has another function.
[26/11/14 23:16] Lania:Oh alright.  :P
[26/11/14 23:16] :Aeoshattr grins
[26/11/14 23:17] Aeoshattr:Hm. Anything else?
[26/11/14 23:17] Lania:One more thought.
[26/11/14 23:18] Lania:Pain also signals that there is something wrong in the body and...this one is from Asthir: it signifies that you are alive. *smiles*
[26/11/14 23:19] :Aeoshattr chuckles and nods
[26/11/14 23:19] Lania:That's it. I rest my case. *chuckles*
[26/11/14 23:19] Lintara:Hurm, *chuckles* that sounds familiar
[26/11/14 23:19] Valoryn:Awfully familiar. *chuckles quietly*
[26/11/14 23:22] Aeoshattr: *nods* Well then, thank you all for coming and participating
[26/11/14 23:23] :Lania nods
[26/11/14 23:23] :*Sunfire* nods
[26/11/14 23:23] :Azrafar nods
[26/11/14 23:23] Lintara:Thanks for holding it Aeo! *tilts her head* Will your hand be alright or shall we go bandage it again?
[26/11/14 23:23] Aeoshattr: *nods* It'll be fine. I think it stopped bleeding
[26/11/14 23:24] Lintara:Hmm, okay
[26/11/14 23:24] Aeoshattr: (Ailith?  :) )
[26/11/14 23:25] Lania:I'll retreat now. *smiles and gets up*
[26/11/14 23:25] :[Spell] To my parchment scrollbook

 

[/spoiler]

 

TL;DR (summary)

[spoiler]

How do we define Pain in MD terms, where as far as I am aware, we are beings of heat/energy or in other words souls. How are physical and emotional pain different for such a being? Alteration of one's form (be it heat or identity - Wiiya) may be an answer, but then so, can one distinguish between physical and emotional pain anymore?

For the second part, pain serves the purpose of avoiding danger, in most cases, but does this apply to those that enjoy pain? Is there a clear cut answer?

[/spoiler]

Edited February 25, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

Third Sermon of Pain:

Date&Time (POSTPONED TO): Tuesday, 30th of December, 20:00 ST

Location: Path of Loneliness

Topic: Pain as Change. Purpose of Pain.

 

As before, all are welcome. There are a number of people I would personally like to attend, I will try and let you know.

 

NOTE: I might postpone this if not enough people show up. I realise it's a short notice in a rather busy period. I only recently replaced my faulty keyboard and can properly type out long chunks of text.

 

 

Sadly, I was unable to retrieve the logs. Apologies, it was my mistake.

 

TL;DR (summary) - you'll have to take my word for this one, as I was unable to retrieve the logs.

[spoiler]

Pain is the one and only factor that can truly change people; by "truly change" I mean fundamentally alter their definition of themselves for an indeterminate period of time (I.E. true change is not dressing differently for a few days and then reverting to your old style.). By definition people are constant, until change is necessary. Necessity for change is felt as pain.

[/spoiler]

Edited February 25, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

Storytelling Night - Thursday, 8th of January, 21:00 ST. Location TBA

 

Before anything else, I would like to thank everyone who attended and actively took part in my sermons so far; as perhaps you may have figured out, I was never on the lookout for a "correct" answer, rather conversation and opening new perspectives, to all those that participated, including myself. Thank you.

 

The Storytelling night involves the following:

1. Each participant chooses a particular pain - the name given to it (I.E heartbreak, grief, etc) is to be kept secret by the player.
2. Each participant must spin a short, but meaningful (and hopefully metaphorical) story based on that one pain. It can be complete fantasy, it can be something that actually happened in MD (but as I said... "encoded" a bit in metaphors). Please try and not take longer than 10 mins/player.
3. At the end of each story, we will have a 5 minute break, during which we must figure out what pain troubled the storyteller (I.E heartbreak, grief, etc). 

Do not be shy. We're not literary critics (I kindly encourage people to listen and interpret the content rather than analyse the structure of the story) so your writing skills won't matter. My only request is that the story you're spinning is coherent and doesn't reveal your pain straight away (E.G. "I fell in love but wasn't loved back" said directly).

 

LOGS (for clarity, I will post the stories that were told, since my story at least was interrupted by a IRL event.):

 

Aeoshattr's Story:

[spoiler]

[08/01/15 21:12] Aeoshattr:There was once a young little shepherd.
[08/01/15 21:12] Aeoshattr:The young shepherd, while having to care for a small number of sheep, spent most of his time skipping around the meadow and picking flowers
[08/01/15 21:13] Aeoshattr:He kept the flowers to himself, watching their beauty, and always shed tears when they withered and died, despite having brought that fate upon them
[08/01/15 21:14] Aeoshattr:Soon, no more flowers grew in the meadow.
[08/01/15 21:14] Aeoshattr:As the young shepherd had plucked them all.

[08/01/15 22:30] Aeoshattr:Soon, not only the shepherd, but many of the people living nearby saw that there were no more flowers. So they ventured further away, deep into the forest.
[08/01/15 22:30] Aeoshattr:For there is always need of flowers - for beauty, to show love, to give happiness.
[08/01/15 22:30] Aeoshattr:The young shepherd found a bush of thorns with the most beautiful flowers he had seen. So he plucked one, and soon let the others know about the thorny bush.
[08/01/15 22:31] Aeoshattr:One by one, the men and women of the village came to take the flowers; and one by one, the bush lost its flowers.
[08/01/15 22:31] Aeoshattr:But it happily grew more, as it was happy on its own to gift them and bring joy to the people
[08/01/15 22:32] Aeoshattr:Days and months passed, night and day of gifting.
[08/01/15 22:32] Aeoshattr:But one day... One very sad day, the bush could no longer bloom. It tried and tried, but its twigs were dry. No flower could grow on them.
[08/01/15 22:33] Aeoshattr:And one by one, the villagers no longer visited the thorny bush. Soon, even the young shepherd forgot the bush.
[08/01/15 22:33] Aeoshattr:Not only did it not bloom anymore... But one by one, the bush lost its leaves.
[08/01/15 22:34] Aeoshattr:Before long... the bush had one last leaf left. And it clung to that last leaf with a bitter hope that the young shepherd, the boy who first visited him would come once more
[08/01/15 22:34] Aeoshattr:But he never did, and the thorny bush weakly let go of its last leaf, in the dark heart of the woods.
[08/01/15 22:35] Aeoshattr: *smiles* That was my story.
[/spoiler]

 

Nimrodel's Story

[spoiler]
[08/01/15 21:23] :*Nimrodel* clears her throat and gets up
[08/01/15 21:24] :*Nimrodel* looks at everyone and starts the story in a nervous high pitch
[08/01/15 21:24] *Nimrodel*:Once upon a time, in a prosperous kingdom
[08/01/15 21:25] *Nimrodel*:There was a great king who watched over his kingdom with the help of his wise advisors
[08/01/15 21:26] *Nimrodel*:Occasionally this king could also be stupid because he was too obstinate.
[08/01/15 21:26] *Nimrodel*:Only one of his advisors was brave and wise enough to show the foolishness of his ways.
[08/01/15 21:27] *Nimrodel*:This is a story about one such episode.
[08/01/15 21:27] *Nimrodel*:The king was very fond of asking questions about Life and values to his courtiers.
[08/01/15 21:28] *Nimrodel*:So one day he asked them, "Tell me, will a man do anything for money?"
[08/01/15 21:29] *Nimrodel*:His advisors said, "Yes Sire. Money is very important for people to lead a comfortable life."
[08/01/15 21:30] *Nimrodel*:The king smirked and said, "Prove it to me and you shall be rewarded."
[08/01/15 21:30] *Nimrodel*:So the wisest of his advisors, The brave one, brought a poor man with 3 children to feed, to the court.
[08/01/15 21:31] *Nimrodel*:He said to the King, "Sire, i have brought you someone who will do anything for money."
[08/01/15 21:31] *Nimrodel*:The king looked at the poor man and said, " Stand for one complete night in the lake near the forest without clothes, and I shall give you a lifetime's worth of gold"
[08/01/15 21:32] *Nimrodel*:Everyone gasped hearing the King's cruel request as it was the middle of winter and the water outside was freezing cold.
[08/01/15 21:33] *Nimrodel*:The poor man agreed to the king's request and Spent the whole night in the freezing cold water of the lake.
[08/01/15 21:33] *Nimrodel*:The next morning, the man, with the advisor, went to meet the king.
[08/01/15 21:34] *Nimrodel*:The king marvelled at the man's feat and asked, "How did you manage to stay in that water all night?"
[08/01/15 21:34] *Nimrodel*:The man said, "I kept looking at the stars Sire and the light gave me hope."
[08/01/15 21:35] *Nimrodel*:The obstinate king looked at the advisor and said, "So! He was keeping himself warm with the light of the stars! He has not done what I have told him to. He shall not recieve his reward!"
[08/01/15 21:36] *Nimrodel*:The entire court gasped at the king's foolishness. The advisor merely bowed and beckoned the shocked poor man to come with him.
[08/01/15 21:37] *Nimrodel*:About a week later after this incident, The advisor invited the king to his home promising him a meal that would be cooked by himself.
[08/01/15 21:37] *Nimrodel*:The king, excited and eager, went to his home that day.
[08/01/15 21:38] *Nimrodel*:The advisor's servants invited the king in and requested him to wait in the hall as the advisor was still cooking the stew.
[08/01/15 21:38] *Nimrodel*:The king smiled and sat down in the hall.
[08/01/15 21:39] *Nimrodel*:6 hours passed by, and the hungry king lost his temper. He got up to see what his advisor was cooking that was taking him so long
[08/01/15 21:40] *Nimrodel*:In the kitchen, there was a tiny fire in the center with the pot of stew hanging about 3 metters over it. The advisor was sitting next to the fire waiting for the stew to cook.
[08/01/15 21:42] *Nimrodel*:The king glared at his advisor and Shouted at him angrily,"What nonsense is this? How can you expect to cook a stew if you hang the pot up so high and light such a tiny fire?"
[08/01/15 21:42] *Nimrodel*:The advisor got up calmly and said, "Sire, if the poor man could get warmth from the stars, I am sure the fire is enough for the stew to get cooked.*
[08/01/15 21:43] *Nimrodel*:The speechless king realised the foolishness of his folly and immediately summoned the poor man, giving him his promised reward and apologising to him for his foolishness.
[08/01/15 21:44] *Nimrodel*:The end  :)

[/spoiler]

 

Draconas' story:

[spoiler]
[08/01/15 22:00] Draconas:i know a short story from when i was very young, from before the war with the gods
[08/01/15 22:02] Draconas:i was walking through the town, on this bright midsummer evening
[08/01/15 22:03] Draconas:at first i was wandering around aimlessly, until i saw her
[08/01/15 22:04] Draconas:i stopped where i stood and stared how she was hanging the laundry on the line in her yard
[08/01/15 22:05] Draconas:and then i heard a familiar voice from behind me "staring again Draconas?"
[08/01/15 22:06] Draconas:i turned around and i saw Elran behind me, a dragon with who i was raised, and my best friend
[08/01/15 22:07] Draconas:i ginored his question and said "shes beautiful even in her human form, isnt she?
[08/01/15 22:08] Draconas:and he said "she sure is, why dont you go talk to her?" and i didn't answer, not wanting to tell i lacked the courage
[08/01/15 22:10] Draconas:weeks passed, and i kept staring, while Elran went around talking here, joking there
[08/01/15 22:11] Draconas:and then on an evening in the cold winter i bumped into her
[08/01/15 22:11] Draconas:bumped*
[08/01/15 22:12] Draconas:i quickly apologised for making her drop her bag she was carrying
[08/01/15 22:13] Draconas:and nevvonervouslyoke to her about the weather, the weather!
[08/01/15 22:13] Draconas:but she smiled and said "yes its a beautiful day, i wish i could go flying right now"
[08/01/15 22:14] Draconas:so i said "me too, why dont we go and fly some later today" but she laughed and headed off
[08/01/15 22:15] Draconas:i sobbed and sobbed, but Elran managed to finally cheer me up somehow
[08/01/15 22:16] *Nimrodel*:you were always the drama queen draco >.>
[08/01/15 22:16] Draconas:but a new problem had risen, the day of the dragonball was getting nearer and i still didnt have a partner
[08/01/15 22:16] Draconas:shush you
[08/01/15 22:17] Draconas:there was only one candidate for me, so i waited for the right moment to ask her, so i waited, and waited...
[08/01/15 22:18] Draconas:and then it was the day of the dragonball and i hadnt ask her
[08/01/15 22:20] Draconas:and when the opening notes were about to start Elran whispered to me "you should've talked to her" and then walked over to her and when the song started they started dancing
[08/01/15 22:21] Draconas:so i flew off to his cave and set his nest on fire
[08/01/15 22:22] Draconas: *mutters* that served him right
[08/01/15 22:22] Draconas:that was my story of pain
[08/01/15 22:23] *Nimrodel*:you could've got a role in Gossip girl without even trying >.>
[08/01/15 22:23] Draconas:im a man! a manly man!
[08/01/15 22:23] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Nim, don't be mean.
[08/01/15 22:24] *Nimrodel*:No.. You are a drama queen. Now shush and sit here.
[08/01/15 22:24] :Draconas grumbles some not so nice things

[/spoiler]

 

Zleiphneir's story (which impressed me a lot)

[spoiler]
[08/01/15 23:22] Zleiphneir:There was a quiet little farming village, dirt roads and straw thatches
[08/01/15 23:23] Zleiphneir:they did everything for themselves there. Reared animals, ground corn, cooked, slaughtered, loved
[08/01/15 23:23] Zleiphneir:but there was never violence, and there was never avarice, they worked well together in their world
[08/01/15 23:24] Zleiphneir:in one house, a small family, mum, dad, and two brothers, John and Edward
[08/01/15 23:24] Zleiphneir:John was strong. He'd spend his time in the fields, laughing and joking, gleaming in the sunlight and smiling at giggling girls
[08/01/15 23:25] Zleiphneir:carrying bales of hay and sacks of freshly ground flour for his mom
[08/01/15 23:26] Zleiphneir:Edward was scrawny, chisle-nosed and wiry, but wide eyed from spending time in the darkness
[08/01/15 23:26] Zleiphneir:he was a blacksmith, and the light from the fire stung his eyes, the cold of the metal made him think
[08/01/15 23:27] Zleiphneir:he was always filthy, and no lass would look upon him but with the ember of pity
[08/01/15 23:27] Zleiphneir:of a winter's eve they slept, on their haybale beds, tucked in, grown though their were, by loving parents
[08/01/15 23:28] Zleiphneir:John's maiden snuck in under moonlit shadows, and Edward covered his head with a pillow as usual
[08/01/15 23:28] Zleiphneir:then silence
[08/01/15 23:28] Zleiphneir:then coughing
[08/01/15 23:28] Zleiphneir:then screaming
[08/01/15 23:29] Zleiphneir:the house was aflame, the sound of hooves and cracking on the roof
[08/01/15 23:29] Zleiphneir:John desperately trying to drag his maiden outside and douse the lapping flames
[08/01/15 23:30] Zleiphneir:when all was done, the maiden lay but a dinner for crows
[08/01/15 23:30] Zleiphneir:the village, mostly ashes
[08/01/15 23:30] Zleiphneir:John vowed that day to take revenge, and as the village was rebuilt, the two lads wrestled and fought
[08/01/15 23:31] Zleiphneir:first in preparation, but it soon turned into a brawling contest
[08/01/15 23:32] Zleiphneir:and John, knowing Edward often walked in the night to the town nearby and hid bottles of liquor under his bead, blamed him for the events
[08/01/15 23:32] Zleiphneir:bed*
[08/01/15 23:32] Zleiphneir:so he was extra vicious with his poundings. He knew, if he could hate and beat his brother so, he could definitely do it to his enemies
[08/01/15 23:33] Zleiphneir:when the scout returned with word of who had carried out the deed, John demanded of his brother a fine sword for the task
[08/01/15 23:33] Zleiphneir:and Edward went to work
[08/01/15 23:33] Zleiphneir:but he hadn't made swords before
[08/01/15 23:33] Zleiphneir:he hadn't needed to
[08/01/15 23:33] Zleiphneir:so when he handed over the finished product
[08/01/15 23:34] Zleiphneir:John threw it back in his face and viciously slay him with unkind words
[08/01/15 23:34] Zleiphneir:he stormed away, he would buy a sword somewhere
[08/01/15 23:35] Zleiphneir:Edward looked at his creation and shed a single tear. It fell on the metal and spread out in small veins
[08/01/15 23:35] Zleiphneir:he put the unrequited gift in a corner, and went on living
[08/01/15 23:35] Zleiphneir:time passed
[08/01/15 23:36] Zleiphneir:and one day he returned to look at the sword. Rust addled it's blade in the veins, but the grip remained tight
[08/01/15 23:36] Zleiphneir:he stepped outside, dragging the point and breathed the night air
[08/01/15 23:37] Zleiphneir:a gust of wind blew by, and the sword spoke whispers
[08/01/15 23:37] Zleiphneir:On horseback now, with a gleaming suit of armour and weapon to match John returned
[08/01/15 23:38] Zleiphneir:in the blazing sun, these months gone by, the girls flocked over and cooed
[08/01/15 23:38] Zleiphneir:but he had had his fill of city girls and was simply amused and shooed them away
[08/01/15 23:38] Zleiphneir:where is my brother? That traitor?
[08/01/15 23:39] Zleiphneir:he whose slumber, he whose drunken idiocy caused my leave, caused my first love to perish?
[08/01/15 23:39] Zleiphneir:Edward could hear it all, and he went to the sound, the old gift in hand
[08/01/15 23:39] Zleiphneir:Brother, im so happy you have returned, did you slay the people? will you now accept my gift?
[08/01/15 23:40] Zleiphneir:John laughed and dismounted. I killed any who got in my way, and more
[08/01/15 23:40] Zleiphneir:im sure the ones were among them, but who cares?
[08/01/15 23:40] Zleiphneir:if it wasnt for you, it wouldnt have happened anyway
[08/01/15 23:41] Zleiphneir:brother...you're being ridiculous. I travel a little sure, but nothing more...but still...if you think it my fault, please, I apologise, accept the gift?
[08/01/15 23:41] Zleiphneir:he held out the old rusted sword
[08/01/15 23:41] Zleiphneir:John slapped it out of his hands. You brought them here! You showed them the way!
[08/01/15 23:42] Zleiphneir:and with that he draw his own sword and launched a blow at edward, who span into the dirt just short of losing an arm
[08/01/15 23:42] Zleiphneir:brother no! please! I beg you!
[08/01/15 23:43] Zleiphneir:another blow came crashing close and Edward scrambled to his feet, desperately grasping and grabbing the only weapon available, the old rusty sword
[08/01/15 23:43] Zleiphneir:hah!! you idiot. That's not going to help you. You have no armour, that weapon is but a fractured twig, and we both know I always win
[08/01/15 23:44] Zleiphneir:Edward sucked in his sorrow and swung the sword, completely missing John
[08/01/15 23:44] Zleiphneir:but the sword sang out, it screamed as the air filtered through the veins
[08/01/15 23:45] Zleiphneir:and the scream shattered John's perceptions
[08/01/15 23:45] Zleiphneir:he grabbed his ears as blood ran from them and fell to his knees
[08/01/15 23:45] Zleiphneir:their parents pushed their way throguh the crowd, the mother coddled John and ushured him into the house
[08/01/15 23:46] Zleiphneir:the father nodded at edward, and he stood alone in the crowd, sword in hand, somehow victorious.
[08/01/15 23:46] Zleiphneir:-

[/spoiler]

Edited February 25, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

Update!

 

1. The quest is undergoing re-structuring at the moment, so that I may hold it without the need for assistance from "higher powers". For those that are waiting for the quest.
2. I am currently thinking about making the sermons a bi-weekly event, possibly with a different structure to prevent repetition and try and deliver something new every time. Suggestions? Would you be interested in participating, should I decide to hold the event every 2 weeks?

[Aeoshattr]

I have decided to start a new series of events similar to those that took place in December/January. There will be a series of six storytelling events, mainly focused on explaining what defines Aeo as the character he is today, but also on how others relate to each specific pain and how each said pain may or may not impact MD as a whole. 

 

The First:

 

Date&Time: Saturday, 21st of February, 21:30 ST

Location: Paper Cabin Balcony

Topic: A more detailed story on Aeoshattr's first great pain.

 

This is meant to be more of a storytelling event; I am not expecting the actual storytelling to take more than 30 minutes. Questions and discussion are welcome afterwards.

 

LOGS (cleaned):

[spoiler]

[21/02/15 21:28] Aeoshattr:Though as an introduction... I was meaning to tell those that gathered the story of my first Shard. I've been asked what they're for a number of times. 
[21/02/15 21:29] :Lania smiles to Lash 
[21/02/15 21:30] Aeoshattr:Hmm... Shall we? 
[21/02/15 21:31] :Dark Demon nods 
[21/02/15 21:31] Lania:5 more minutes? :P 
[21/02/15 21:32] I am Bored:It's just past 21:32 so... 
[21/02/15 21:32] Aeoshattr:Alright, we should get started then, I don't want to encroach on the discussion later 
[21/02/15 21:32] :Asthir reduces the frequency of its humming 
[21/02/15 21:32] Lania:Ah yes. Let us...you begin then. :) 
[21/02/15 21:33] :Aeoshattr grins 
[21/02/15 21:35] :lashtal sits on the roof and prepares to listen 
[21/02/15 21:35] :Chewett gets out his hearing trumpet 
[21/02/15 21:35] :Guardian of Root 24230 bows to the wookie saviour 
[21/02/15 21:36] Azkhael:Hmm. 
[21/02/15 21:36] Aeoshattr:Well.. I shall then. Long, long ago, as Nephilim usually live long lives. Back when I was still an unruly youngster. 
[21/02/15 21:37] :Lania gets comfortable, her back against the wall and listens 
[21/02/15 21:37] :Change listens as she doodles 
[21/02/15 21:37] :Lintara 's eyes widen, she slowly looks about 
[21/02/15 21:37] Aeoshattr:Back when in our world, the gates of the skies were still open to mortals. The court of the Highfather was open to all. 
[21/02/15 21:38] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Not closed and locked away, kept only for the dead as now. 
[21/02/15 21:38] :Dark Demon nods as the darkness engulfs him 
[21/02/15 21:38] Aeoshattr:And unruly as I was, never wanting to obey the strict ways of the Nephilim Conclave... 
[21/02/15 21:39] Aeoshattr:I believed foolishly I could find a way to live by joining a... Hm. Gang of unruly youngsters like me. 
[21/02/15 21:40] Aeoshattr:But to be accepted, I had to, naturally, undergo some form of initiation. 
[21/02/15 21:40] Aeoshattr:A fool as I was, I trusted them. I was challenged to steal an object from the Highfather's court. 
[21/02/15 21:40] Aeoshattr:The object's choice was left upon myself. 
[21/02/15 21:40] :Lania gasps 
[21/02/15 21:41] :Assira the Black smiles slightly 
[21/02/15 21:41] Aeoshattr:And a fool I was. I made my way to the court; one could say it's difficult to steal from such a place, as there are few to no... physical things there. 
[21/02/15 21:42] Aeoshattr:But as I walked the long, winding halls... 
[21/02/15 21:42] Aeoshattr:I came across this strange box. 
[21/02/15 21:42] Aeoshattr:It was put on a pedestal, with two winged statues towering on each side. 
[21/02/15 21:42] Asthir:Is it just me, or... are people slowly disappearing, with every phrase Aeo speaks...? 
[21/02/15 21:43] :Aeoshattr grins slightly 
[21/02/15 21:43] Aeoshattr:And I knew I had it. 
[21/02/15 21:43] Princ Rhaegar:I'm blind! *touches around for white arrows, just in case he has to make a run for it* 
[21/02/15 21:44] Aeoshattr:There was nobody watching - after all, whom isthere to keep watch in a place like the court of the Highfather. What sort of fool would ever dare cause trouble in there? 
[21/02/15 21:44] :Chewett looks at the crazy people 
[21/02/15 21:44] Aeoshattr:I opened the box, and inside I found this rather old, I dare say ugly knife. 
[21/02/15 21:45] :Guardian of Root 24230 raises an eyebrow 
[21/02/15 21:45] :Chewett goes to write an email 
[21/02/15 21:46] :Asthir hovers away from Aeo, slightly 
[21/02/15 21:46] Aeoshattr:But as soon as I took it out of the box... 

[21/02/15 21:46] Aeoshattr: *unsheathes the knife from his cloak* My arm flailed with pain, and the cursed thing began to pour a sort of golden, orange light. 
[21/02/15 21:47] :Dark Demon nods as he listesn 
[21/02/15 21:47] :Lania looks at the knife and raises a brow 
[21/02/15 21:47] Aeoshattr:By that moment, I didn't care anymore about bringing it out of the court. I wanted to let it go, to drop it down, but it wouldn't fall out of my hand. 
[21/02/15 21:48] Lania:Curse of the holder... *whispers to herself* 
[21/02/15 21:48] Aeoshattr:And before I knew it, I was out cold on the floor. 
[21/02/15 21:49] Aeoshattr:I still do not know how long it took for me to awaken. But when I did, I was home. 
[21/02/15 21:50] Aeoshattr: *tucks the knife back away* I could hear my father outside; I sat up, and the room spun. 
[21/02/15 21:51] :Asthir moves back into the position it previously occupied 
[21/02/15 21:52] :Lania tries to aim a pebble at Asthir, while listening to the story 

[21/02/15 21:53] :Aeoshattr tilts his head to the side, revealing another one of his silvery scars, but drags his fingers across it and seems to pull out one of the shards from it 
[21/02/15 21:53] :Lania looks at Aeo and shakes her head 
[21/02/15 21:53] :Lintara watches. 
[21/02/15 21:55] :Lania feels around for Lintara, gently grabs what seems like Lin's arm and tries to pull her close, hoping that it is the desired person 
[21/02/15 21:55] Aeoshattr:When I awoke, I had this... shard stuck in my neck 
[21/02/15 21:55] Lania:Shard stuck in the neck...sfff.. 
[21/02/15 21:56] Aeoshattr:And since I forever lived with the feeling the knife first gave me. Rending across my right arm. 
[21/02/15 21:56] *Nimrodel*:Umm someone seems to be pulling my arm >> 
[21/02/15 21:57] Aeoshattr:This... knife is to blame. I would later learn what the shard was... for I could not stay away from it. If it wasn't in someone's hands, and far away from me, I would fall into a deep sleep 
[21/02/15 21:57] Lania: *retreats her arm and whispers towards where Nim's voice came* Sorry....  
[21/02/15 21:57] Aeoshattr: *grins* I will tell those that are interested about the next shard in a few days... and perhaps more about the knife. 
[21/02/15 21:57] *Nimrodel*: *whispers back* its ok.. Just let me know before you do that. It took me everything not to scream and shout >> 
[21/02/15 21:58] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* I believe Chewett wanted to have a different conversation. That's if.. we can all make it down the ladder without breaking our necks 
[21/02/15 21:58] :Dark Demon nods slowly to Aeo 
[21/02/15 21:58] Lania: *to Nim* Alrighty. *turns towards Aeo* What do you mean/. Its over? 
[21/02/15 21:58] Aeoshattr:For now. 
[21/02/15 21:59] :MaGoHi pats his hime on the back to calm her down 
[21/02/15 21:59] Gljivoje:can you show my humble self night mode also, Aeoshattr? 
[21/02/15 21:59] Princ Rhaegar:We can see those who aren't in nightmode. Thought it probably has something to do with sky visibility, if it's not a bug 
[21/02/15 21:59] Lania:Aww...ok. Looking forward for more. 
[21/02/15 21:59] I am Bored:And now, we hand it over to Chewett for the story mode discussion. 
[21/02/15 21:59] Dark Demon:That is the point, Rhaegar. 
[21/02/15 22:00] Dark Demon:Nightmode envelopes you in darkness, not others. 
[21/02/15 22:00] :I am Bored makes an arm movement pointing towards the wookie sitting on the canopy 
[21/02/15 22:00] Chewett:8PM exactly 
[21/02/15 22:00] Chewett:Thats exciting 
[21/02/15 22:00] *Nimrodel*: *whispers* lania was that you patting on my back? 
[21/02/15 22:01] Azkhael:Thank you, Aeoshattr, though we are far too disruptive a crowd, I feel. 
[21/02/15 22:01] Lania: *whispers back* Not me this time. 
[21/02/15 22:01] Aeoshattr: *chuckles* Well.. shall we go to the Gazebo for the talk then? 
[21/02/15 22:02] Aeoshattr: (look at the trigger box... it's so pretty) 
[21/02/15 22:02] Chewett:To the Gazebo! 
[21/02/15 22:02] *Nimrodel*: *trembles* Aeo chan.. This is scary. >> 
[21/02/15 22:02] Gljivoje:yes, next time story first, to set the mood right, than questions 
[21/02/15 22:02] :Keep lightly pokes Nimrodel and Lania in the dark 
[21/02/15 22:02] *Nimrodel*:Someone patted my back and it wasnt lania T_T 
[21/02/15 22:02] :Lania gets up and trips over the edge, falling next to the cabin 
[21/02/15 22:02] *Nimrodel*: *bawls* Now someone's poking me too!!! Lania!!!? 
[21/02/15 22:02] Lintara:Lani?! 
[21/02/15 22:02] Azkhael:Alas poor Lania. 
[21/02/15 22:03] :Lintara jumps over the edge and flutters down 
[/spoiler]

 

TL;DR (summary - which here may make more sense than the actual logs. Sorry for the awful event.)

[spoiler]

The First was rebellious, unruly, but also naive in the sense of not knowing what is best for him. His foolishness was what actually created Aeoshattr - his name, before this event was different, and has not yet been revealed in MD. The First is the one that is closest to the man before the "shattering" (I.E. the name I haven't revealed). He is punished by death, event which plunges him into the realm of MD and subsequently creates The Second.

[/spoiler]

Edited February 25, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

I've updated the topic with TL;DRs (as suggested by Chewett!) which will hopefully make the entire thing easier to read and understand, rather than by reading non-friendly logs. I kept the logs posted for reference.

 

The Second:

Date&Time: Saturday, 28th of February, 22:00 ST - onwards, depending on how the discussion for MD's anniversary ends 

Location: Clash of Ages

Topic: A more detailed story on Aeoshattr's second great pain.

 

As with the previous event, this is a short storytelling gathering. It is meant to be historically accurate in terms of Aeo's first experiences (oh god why...) in MD, as well as set the basis for his further development. Questions and commentaries welcome afterwards.

 

LOGS:

[spoiler]

[28/02/15 22:07:10] 1_-1x-2_1:I think I've told you how I put myself in the situation of being executed at the gathering last week? 
[28/02/15 22:08:12] 1_-1x-2_1: *chuckles* How I got the Knife. 
[28/02/15 22:09:25] 1_-1x-2_1: *flips a page slowly* The punishment for my little... shenanigan was execution, along with my family - my father. 
[28/02/15 22:10:34] 1_-1x-2_1:I was still just vaguely aware of it all - my head was reeling, my arm was aching, and everything felt wrong, my skin felt like it wasn't my own. I only remember the punishment that was chosen: 
[28/02/15 22:10:58] 1_-1x-2_1:Drowning. I was cast in a lake that my kind held sacred... for a reason I will never understand. Its water is deathly poisonous to all Nephilim. 
[28/02/15 22:11:39] 1_-1x-2_1:To this day... I do not know what happened. Whether I died, and this is some sort of... hell... 
[28/02/15 22:12:04] 1_-1x-2_1:I only know I woke up here. Gasping for breath under the scorching sun. 
[28/02/15 22:12:49] 1_-1x-2_1:And despite the gaping emptiness, the grief of having lost my only family... I didn't feel alone. 
[28/02/15 22:13:14] 1_-1x-2_1:Do you know that feeling you get... thinking that someone is right behind you, breathing on the back of your neck and glaring at you? 
[28/02/15 22:13:57] 1_-1x-2_1:I walked along for... days and days - or so I judged, since there was no Night. Always feeling someone behind me. 
[28/02/15 22:14:23] 1_-1x-2_1:I felt lonely, though not alone. It is very... uncomfortable. 
[28/02/15 22:15:07] 1_-1x-2_1:Lost... you could say. And always feeling like... something was stuck to me, something that had not been there before. It felt oddly like binding creatures to me, once I learned doing that. 
[28/02/15 22:15:43] 1_-1x-2_1:And to answer your question, in a way, Asthir... My first friends here were mcvitie, her shadow, and Lady Ren. 
[28/02/15 22:16:31] 1_-1x-2_1:Lady Ren... I was such a young fool back then. Couldn't see what was right before my eyes until it was gone. 
[28/02/15 22:18:41] 1_-1x-2_1:She guided me. And she was, to this day, what drew me to Loreroot. 
[28/02/15 22:19:37] 1_-1x-2_1:Times long past, those days when we used to walk through the forest with not a care in the whole world... I not knowing what I was here for, and her having a smile on her face... a beautiful,sad smile 
[28/02/15 22:20:47] 1_-1x-2_1:She loved the Raven man. And crushing it was, indeed. I would never have anything to offer that the Raven man couldn't. 
[28/02/15 22:21:52] 1_-1x-2_1:And in my foolish young years... I tried to best the Raven man. But I could not. Oddly enough, I was happy when the Muse's kitten got lost... 
[28/02/15 22:22:15] 1_-1x-2_1:I found it before the Raven! It was hiding here, scared and shaking amongst the debris. 
[28/02/15 22:23:05] 1_-1x-2_1:I felt a silly pride as I returned it... And was given a smile. A smile, and then she returned to the Raven's embrace. 
[28/02/15 22:23:38] 1_-1x-2_1: *flips a page* And for many many days did I long for her embrace... If only I knew that when I would get it, I would regret it for the rest of my days. 
[28/02/15 22:24:36] 1_-1x-2_1:It was sometimes in the early days of the Taint... and while I hid away like a scared rabbit in the woods... She was always there, brave as the men and knights that tried to keep the sickness away 
[28/02/15 22:25:22] 1_-1x-2_1:Such a gentle being, in the midst of the... atrocities of the Taint in those years. 
[28/02/15 22:26:31] 1_-1x-2_1:And she fell ill. 
[28/02/15 22:27:18] 1_-1x-2_1:I only learned days after it happened... as she hid away in the Labyrinth 
[28/02/15 22:27:39] 1_-1x-2_1:And looking for her, I got hopelessly lost. Only by sheer chance did I find her somewhere in that forsaken place. 
[28/02/15 22:29:21] 1_-1x-2_1:She was withering away... And she asked me to end her, with tears in her eyes. 
[28/02/15 22:31:03] 1_-1x-2_1:And I could not. How could I, of all people, harm her. 
[28/02/15 22:32:25] 1_-1x-2_1:The simple question stunned me... I had not even realised when she grasped by hand making me hold the knife... and embraced me. 
[28/02/15 22:36:07] 1_-1x-2_1: *stands, looking somewhat sad* And that was the creation of the Third. 
[28/02/15 22:36:27] 1_-1x-2_1:That was all for tonight. Thank you for coming to listen to my ramblings.

[/spoiler]

 

TL;DR (summary)

[spoiler]

Though loving Lady Renata, Aeoshattr was never able to be the man she deserved. He was timid, naive, lonely, perhaps - traits which kept him from showing the muse his feelings - her tragic passing was the event that marked the end of the Second and the beginning of the Third.

Strictly related to MD, The Second is the one that pursued joining Loreroot (at a time when Citizenship did not exist), at first approaching the Savelites, then the Guardians of the Root.

[/spoiler]

Edited March 23, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

Apologies for the delay - things are precipitating at the end of term (university). 

 

The Third:

Date&Time: Sunday, 15th of March, 22:00 ST  (postponed from Saturday)

Location: Fountain of the Lost Path (MDA)

Topic: A more detailed story on Aeoshattr's third great pain (in the realm of MD).

 

LOGS:

[spoiler]

Aeoshattr: *hums* Well then... *sits down cross-legged, holding one obsidian orb in his hands* .
: Change rests her hands in her lap on top of her sketchbook and listens
Aeoshattr: I believe I've told you, last time, about the Second. My first days in the realm and... the muse.
Aeoshattr: And with the end of the Muse, the Third was born.
Aeoshattr: I rarely ever am able to recollect what happens immediately before and after a "shattering", I only know that despite having been in the Labyrinth, I awoke in the lands of Marind Bell.
Aeoshattr: The Third was rather... scarred by the shattering. Though ever since the days of the second I felt a strange, foreign darkness grow within, it is during the days of the Third that it first showed its
Aeoshattr: face.
Aeoshattr: *hums and lightly taps his fingers over the orb* Alas. It was in the lands of Marind when I first met... him.
Aeoshattr: *has a half smile on his face* The shattering still left me confused. Lonely. Angry. But I learnt that for some reason, he stifled the anger.
Aeoshattr: He carried my mind away. I had no clue how or what he did - but with him, the loneliness was no more. The pain was soothed.
Aeoshattr: A fool I was - and a fool I still am.
Aeoshattr: Naturally... I sought more. What beast doesn't seek more of that which sates it?
Aeoshattr: But though the Second had known the meaning of love - it seemed that the Third was too... selfish, too broken to understand it.
Aeoshattr: Imperfect. But the imperfections, instead of being sanded and worn down by the relentless time, were sharpened.
Aeoshattr: He... soothed me. We spent many days at this fountain *smiles subtly* He was but a call away, the whole time.
Windy: Hmm...
Aeoshattr: But I, the Third, could not and did not give him that which he deserved.
Aeoshattr: The pain was gone... but that was merely because I walked ahead of it.
Aeoshattr: I left it behind - for the poor Shadow to hold, while I selfishly pursued that which I desired.
Aeoshattr: And the fool... the wretched fool... took it. Instead of throwing it away and forgetting the beast I was...
Aeoshattr: He carried the pain. He carried the pain of a heartless beast.
Aeoshattr: And I never knew what devotion... what strength it took to do it. I never knew until I had lost it.
Aeoshattr: And if there is anything I do not wish upon anyone... it is to see that pain in the eyes of a loved one.
: *Sunfire* nods
Aeoshattr: I only knew what I had put him through when he looked at me, broken and defeated.
Aeoshattr: But there was no more I could do.
Aeoshattr: No amount of tears, no regret, no pleas will bring him back.
Aeoshattr: He loved me, and I was a fool to tell him I loved him. I should have made him hate me, perhaps that would have driven him away to a better life.
Aeoshattr: Alas... he stayed to have his heart carved out. *lowers his gaze*
Aeoshattr: And only when I could see my ... "art" did I realise that I had been carving in the soul of a man that gifted himself to me. The look in his eyes will forever haunt me.
Aeoshattr: I can only hope that he found love - one that would bring him joy, not pain - in the days that he had left. For I know pain clinged to him...
Aeoshattr: I only dare hope that he found a glimmer of light to soothe him, as he once soothed him. And that the glimmer of light was warm, not cold and sharp.
Aeoshattr: Yet I am cursed not to know, as he is forever gone. Regret and anguish let the darkness sprout to the surface. No longer being carried by anyone else, the pain returned. And it lashed so furiously,
Aeoshattr: that we broke once more. Once more, as we looked into Shadow's teary eyes.
Aeoshattr: *raises his eyes and looks up at the sky* May you forget me, Shadow.
: Aeoshattr tucks the orb back in one of his oversized sleeves

[/spoiler]

 

TL;DR

[spoiler]

Hollowed by the previous events, the Third let a poor man carry his pain - a man that fell in love with him. And in the newly found, painless, freedom, he pursued his desires, yet left the devoted Shadow behind, to break and wither while carrying the pain.

OOC - it is something I still find difficult to talk about. I don't think my ramblings do Shadow (mcvitie's) justice.

Strictly related to MD, The Third is the one that began learning about the Children of the Eclipse and also began the training and initiation rites needed to join - the "dreams" he pursued to Shadow's detriment.

[/spoiler]

Edited March 23, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

The Fourth:

Date&Time: Friday, 1st of May, 22:00 ST 

Location: Oak Fort Exterior (LR)

Topic: A more detailed story on Aeoshattr's fourth great pain (in the realm of MD) - Association with Loreroot.

 

Apologies for the massive delay. I have been busy both IRL, but also a number of events (including MD Birthday) overlapped this and I did not want to risk either disrupting MDBD events or not have anyone attend mine due to other more interesting things happening.

 

Cleaned Logs

[spoiler] 

Aeoshattr:So for those that participated before... I've told you about my first Three faces, I believe

Aeoshattr:And how the Third ended when Mcvities Shadow... left.

Aeoshattr:Well this story is about a little lamb.

Aeoshattr: *clears his throat and sits cross-legged on the root* About a black little lamb

Aethon shuffles a little closer, listening

Aeoshattr:Rumour has it, there was once this black little lamb - a lost little creature.

Change sits with her sketchybook off to the side as she listens

Aeoshattr:But despite being a young, innocent little critter, the lamb was not truly happy

MaGoHi wonders if the sheeps name was shawn

Aeoshattr:For as the black lamb pranced about in the realm, wherever he went he saw herds.

Aeoshattr:Maybe not all of the herds were of the same kind - some were actually quite speckled. But they were all in herds.

Aeoshattr:But the black little lamb was alone - and the more he saw the herds, the more alone he felt.

Aeoshattr:And where else would a black little lamb seek home than in a forest?

blackshade rider feels like the black lamb

Aeoshattr:Though the guards reluctantly let him through, once through the thick branches, he was amazed - even more herds, hidden from the outside

Aeoshattr:But there is a little thing that the black lamb didn't know - not about the herds, but about himself.

Aeoshattr:Anyone care to have a guess, at what important knowledge our little lamb didn't have?

blackshade rider:an ability?

blackshade rider:of some kind?

Aeoshattr shakes his head

*Sunfire*:that he was not alone

blackshade rider wonders if he shook his head yes or no

Aethon:Where he belonged?

Aeoshattr: *shakes his head again* (no)

MaGoHi:was it a trap?

Zleiphneir:he was already in a herd?

Aeoshattr:What the black little lamb didn't know was something that most would think quite obvious.

blackshade rider:he was the leader of his own herd

Aeoshattr:He did not know that his wool was black. Nor did he know that he was a lamb.

Aeoshattr:Having never belonged to a herd, the lamb was, to himself, just an empty, blank slate.

blackshade rider: *laughs* (common sence)

Aeoshattr:But to the others, he was a black lamb, no matter how empty or blank he thought he was.

Aeoshattr:And in a twisted kind of kindness... the others never pointed it out.

Aeoshattr:Instead!

Aeoshattr:They let the black little lamb prance around - they fed him, they spoke to him, they led him around.

Aeoshattr:What they were did not matter to the lamb - they could've been stags, they could've been wolves. Owls, ravens and ferrets.

Aeoshattr:The lamb did not care - they were kind.

Aeoshattr:But to them... he was and would always be a little black lamb.

Aeoshattr:And in their twisted kind of kindness... they took the lamb in their herd. They told the little critter that he was welcome to stay and feel at home.

Aeoshattr:Alas. Time passed, and our little lamb grew fond of his home. But the emptiness inside him did not fill. He was still an empty, black slate.

Aeoshattr:He didn't turn into a stag. He didn't become a wolf. He didn't grow into an owl.

Aeoshattr:And the more he hoped, the more empty he felt. Why, of all places, of all times, did the emptiness grow when he was in a herd?

Aeoshattr:He didn't know - not until he heard some of the herd speak of how the black little lamb could not have a say in where the herd would go.

Aeoshattr:"How preposterous!" He thought.

Aeoshattr:There is no black lamb in the herd!

Aeoshattr:But as Night fell...

Aeoshattr:As the scalding light of the Sun faded... *stands and walks over to the edge of the lake*

Aeoshattr:The black little lamb went for a drink - and in the quiet, lonely darkness, he saw Truth.

Aeoshattr:The ripples on the lake made his face ugly - but he was a black lamb, no doubt.

Aeoshattr:But the little lamb, despite feeling more alone than ever, did not feel angry.

Aeoshattr:Not at his herd.

Aeoshattr:He was angry with himself - how dared he become one of the herd. How dared he try to fit where he did not belong.

Aeoshattr:How dared he... How dared he... how dared he make others keep a smile on their faces just for his own happiness.

Aeoshattr:And thus, the black little lamb left his herd - upset they were indeed, as maybe unbeknownst to the little lamb, the herd might have actually grown fond of him.

Aeoshattr:But the little lamb knew he had never belonged - and more importantly, he now knew what was most important.

Aeoshattr: *walks to sit back down on the branch* That his wool was black, that his face was ugly, and that he was a little lamb.

Aeoshattr:And as he trotted sadly between the thick branches, he emerged as a little lamb no more.

Aeoshattr: *bows his head and smiles* And the Fourth has such grown, matured and ended as those before him. Thank you all for listening.

[/spoiler]

 

I do believe a TL;DR would take away from the story - but a very very "in a nutshell" TL;DR is here:

[spoiler]

Though he joined Loreroot at first, Aeo (as the Fourth) realised in time that he did not belong and that many also thought that, but never told him.

[/spoiler]

Edited May 20, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

The Fifth:

Date&Time: Friday, 15th of May, 22:00 ST 

Location: Wind's Crossing (MB)

Topic: A more detailed story on Aeoshattr's fifth great pain (in the realm of MD) - Association with Marind Bell.

 

 

LOGS

[spoiler]

Aeoshattr: *clears his throat* I remember telling you, last time, how the Fourth ended with the little lamb leaving the forest - as no longer a lamb.

MaGoHi:yes

Aeoshattr:Indeed he left as no longer a lamb - and the story of the Fifth starts with death.

Aeoshattr:Oddly enough *smirks*

Aeoshattr:The death itself would be... cumbersome to fully explain, as it was no true death in the first place.

Aeoshattr:Alas, the Fourth had to "shed" most of his being as he left - leaving him a wandering spirit.

Aeoshattr: *paces around slowly* And as he aimlessly wandered around No Man's Land, drifting where his home had been for a long time...

Aeoshattr: *turns his head to Lin* She saw him.

Aeoshattr:He didn't know her - not by her face, not by her name. But he knew her by heart. Remembering little from his days in the forest, but still "feeling" those connected to it.

Aeoshattr:And indeed, while she was not a Lorerootian herself, she had spent many days in the company of a reputable Knight.

Lintara: *stands and offers Aeo her hand* Come with me, stranger. You look weary, mayhaps the holy hands will heal you.

Aeoshattr: *half smiles, wandering closer to Lin* And the ghastly man followed, as he had little purpose left in him.

Aeoshattr:To Marind it was!

Aeoshattr:Within a few days, after spending time by the fountain and sharing stories, the spirit felt the need for a body once more.

Aeoshattr:And in a rather gruesomely cold fashion, a sacrifice was quickly prepared by the Gazebo of Chaos.

Aeoshattr:Neither of the two gave it much thought - however, the spirit would find the flesh unsuitable. His nature and that of the flesh were not the same.

Aeoshattr: *sits down by Lin, looking fatigued* It ached and struggled against him, it decayed against his will - and the more he Willed, the quicker it fell apart.

Aeoshattr reaches up to hold one of Lin's hands

Lintara: *nods, holds his hand, settles down by him and points to Wind's Sanctuary* We lived there for a while. And we tried to live happily

Aeoshattr: *nods and smiles* For a while, we did. But the flesh kept revolting, and soon feverish dreams began to haunt the man.

Aeoshattr:Bits and pieces from a past long forgotten - even now, the bits and pieces are what I have.

Aeoshattr:Dreams of hunting and punishment for his ancient crime - stealing the Knife.

Aeoshattr:And in a bizarre way, as time moved, the dreams became more and more real: he would often wake up fatigued, bruised, away from the Sanctuary.

Aeoshattr:Until one day, he was gone - without a trace. In the middle of his sleep, the dreams had taken him.

Aeoshattr:Days passed, one after the other, and gone he was.

Lintara: *sighs* Meanwhile I kept waiting there for him. I waited and waited...

Lintara:Slowly, *starts glancing at Sunfire, a small smile appearing on her face* someone else started catching my eye...

*Sunfire* smiles

Lintara: *chuckles* Oh, I waited a little longer for Him. *grumbles* But he continued to show good luck at not showing up. And so *slowly lets go of Aeo's hand and reaches for Sunfire* .

Aeoshattr lets go of Lin's hand, stepping away, encircling the crowd, hiding behind the tree and emerging after a few moments

Lintara tickles Sunfire under the chin, pulling closer to him, suddenly notices Aeo and gasps, pulling back a bit

Aeoshattr:And just as the feverish dream wore off, casting the poor man back into his old home, he lived to see the one he grew fond of in the arms of another.

Aeoshattr:The Will to keep his flesh together, the Purpose that had guided him - were all cleansed and purged, burning into a single Purpose, which to this day defines the Fifth.

Aeoshattr:Vengeance.

Aeoshattr:But not vengeance upon the innocent man who fell for the maiden - no. Vengeance upon her, for leaving him at his weakest.

Aeoshattr starts walking slowly but firmly towards Lin

Lintara steps back, glancing about as though terrified, raises her claws at him

Aeoshattr:But faced with her once more, in spite of the Vengeance within him, he hesitated - and a moment was all it took.

Aeoshattr stands in front of Lin for a moment, before making a lunge at her, but instead seemingly impaling himself on her claws

Lintara stares at him terrified and heartbroken, making sure to keep her breathing frequent as though she's terrified

Aeoshattr: *slumps down on his knees in front of her* And thus, he shattered once more. Falling by the hands of one he loved, as one he loved once fell by his own hands.

Aeoshattr:And the circle of Five was thus completed - the one that emerged after the Fifth was... out of place. Which I'll talk about next time.

Aeoshattr: *stands and bows to Lin* Since most of you might now know "her" - she was named Magistra.

Aeoshattr:And I believe the "lucky man" *nods at Sunfire* was Vertu. But my memory from those days has faded more than the rest, it would seem.

Lintara: *curtsies and chuckles* You are correct Aeo.

Aeoshattr:And that was the Fifth.

Aeoshattr:As always... thank you all for coming to listen to my ramblings.

MaGoHi is not sure if applauding to a sad story is appropriate

Zleiphneir gives aeo a funny look and nods slowly

[Spell] so whats that buzz Tree?

[/spoiler]

 

TL;DR

[spoiler]

Following Magistra's lead, Aeo joins Marind Bell - only to be deceived after a very brief absence, thus ending a "cycle of five" and causing him to leave Marind Bell.

[/spoiler]

Edited May 15, 2015 by Aeoshattr

[Aeoshattr]

The Sixth (+ spontaneous quest):

 

SIGN UP (+quest details) here: http://magicduel.invisionzone.com/topic/16654-the-sixth-roleplaying-quest/

 

Date&Time: TBA: depends when sign-ups are completed.

Location: TBA (most likely Fields of Abandonment)

Topic: An impromptu quest, which will hopefully illustrate Aeoshattr's Sixth and final Pain in the realm of MD. 

 

Please note, you can also participate without taking part in the quest, but I kindly ask that if you do so, you remain silent and do not interfere with the quest. 

[Aeoshattr]

The Sixth

I had a solo, unannounced little thing. Have a little read if you want :)

 

(logs)

[spoiler]

: Aeoshattr sits down on the shore quietly

: Aeoshattr hums a slow, languid tune and rolls his cloak off his shoulders, leaving himself bare-chested

: Aeoshattr runs his thumb over the rim of the rather large, circular hole in the middle of his chest

: Aeoshattr slowly and carefully extracts the mechanical heart from his chest, fresh flesh having already started to grow upon it like moss

: Aeoshattr rests the heart on the grass next to him, watching it bleed a pitch-black fluid

Aeoshattr: *leans his head to the side slightly, his hood falling off his head as he looks down at the mechanical heart* Cosy little place you found.

Aeoshattr: *takes the mechanical heart back in his hand, gently turning it around and tracing every little cog and bolt with his fingertips* Still... you skip and miss beats.

Aeoshattr: Patchwork piece. A little from here, a little from there. I do not know what keeps you together.

Aeoshattr: I sometimes believe that you're so broken, that through some bizarre, twisted miracle you still work.

: Aeoshattr taps his fingers on the heart a few times

Aeoshattr: Must get lonely in there... Even after death, hmm? It doesn't seem to ever give you a rest.

Aeoshattr: Alone from your very first day... From the very first time we saw through you...

Aeoshattr: *taps his fingertips along the heart, mimicking a walking man* Alone every little step on the way.

Aeoshattr: *drops the heart in the grass* Alone when you fell.

: Lintara halts from a run and quietly watches while trying to make sense of what's going on

Aeoshattr: And alone when you broke. Even though we were looking in through you the whole time.

Aeoshattr: That you had to face.

Aeoshattr: And what did you do?

Aeoshattr: Oh I know what you did... We all know. *lifts the mechanical heart up in front of his eyes and looks at it as it drips the black fluid, which seems to crawl from the grass back into his cloak*

Aeoshattr: You remembered.

Aeoshattr: And now... because of you... we all remember.

Aeoshattr: And now... because of you... you are alone even in this deathless death. Alone from the very beginning, until the bitter end.

: Aeoshattr chuckles softly at the mechanical heart, shaking his head in a rather amused manner, then carefully places it back inside the hole in his chest

: Lintara tilts her head, still confused but keeping quiet

Aeoshattr: We know who you... who we are. We remember. You broke your wall.

: Valoryn stops and scratches his head

Aeoshattr: *grins, beginning to mouth a name* E...*turns his head, and quickly closes his mouth, his cloak rushing back over to cover his chest* .

: Lintara glances to Valoryn and shrugs lightly

: Valoryn gives a confused look at Lintara and keeps listening quietly

Aeoshattr: *chuckles, eyeing the crowd, then glancing down at his chest* Cheeky thing, aren't you?

[/spoiler]

 

(TL;DR) - I might make one. I feel the above is fairly short and easy to read, and I think that a summary wouldn't do it justice.

 

[Aeoshattr]

The Seventh - and Last

 

Date&Time: Saturday, 7th of November, 22:00 ST

Location: Path of Loneliness

Topic: "The End."

Edited October 25, 2015 by Aeoshattr