Well I am Wrighting

[Kamisha]

Every once and I while I get irritated with my self and start to wright. Alot of them go to a point but dont really have an ending but I think I have got one in mind. I am also attempting to challange my self by righting a first person female character. I have tried to wright female characters before from a third person view often from a first person male so this is somewhat new to me. There are some differences in chracter between a male and a female reaction so I am worried if the charcter first of all seems beleveable and second of all likeable. I am still working on a name so any suggestions would be helpful.

This is simply a draft the prologue so its not much to go on but before I venture any fearther into the unknowen I need some feedback in order to stop me from running beside the train and actually jump on. I find it a little choppy here and rushed I will fix that when I have time to look it over more carefully.

Prologue:

“What is this place why am I here.” where the only thoughts that echoed through my head when I awoke. I had yet to open my eyes but my last memory did not include the lapping of waves against a coastal land mass and the occasional rushing sound of a large wave. I opened my green eyes and saw a figure fairly close but still far enough away that I hadn’t been noticed. As my vision was still focusing as I stood up I called out. “Hey can you tell me where I am”. The figure turned to face me the expression was sad. Her eyes where green the hair was brunette and long and stopped just before the shoulders; she was slim but still showed intensity and strength of both character but also dynamic emotion. Without warning she spoke.
“So this was your doing.” Her expression had changed from a sad expression to a cautious smile.
“No” I wheeled around in place to face the other direction. “But I have to say I couldn’t have picked a better method the time and placement is almost well let’s say adequate but I think we both know it’s more than that.” The other voice was that of a man’s the entire figure of him was black hidden by the suns light behind him. I turned back to the women. “Hold on a tick. That’s me I said looking at the women. At least I think so…” I said quietly allowed. “If that’s me then who am I” I held up my hands to look at them inquisitively but all I was met with was nothing.
The version of me that was still visible replied with a small laugh “Well isn’t that true enough right back where we started right where we need to be.”
“That’s right” replied the man “I really wish we could have met under better circumstances.”
“Well we both knew it would come to this”
“Your right as always” The man pulled out a sharp knife. “Right as always” He repeated again softly.
As he repeated it a second time my eyes opened. I was on the shore line that I had seen in what I guess must have been a dream and still I was wondering how I got there.

[Dragual]

[quote name='Kamisha' timestamp='1328657663' post='103768']
. As my vision was still focusing as I stood up I called out.
[/quote]

A little confusing there.

[quote name='Kamisha' timestamp='1328657663' post='103768']
“Hold on a tick. That’s me I said looking at the women. At least I think so…” I said quietly allowed.
[/quote]

Just missing a few quotations.

A really interesting beginning to a story. I like it. As for you're character name, what if you use a name of a player here in MD (with their consent)? I know that as a writer you generally try to avoid that but... It could be interesting to see a story that YOU make for a friend of yours.

[Seigheart]

Fairly good!

One thing that bothers me though....

It's "write" not "wright" ....

A few other spelling errors as well, but I am sure you'll get those when you have proofread it.

Edited February 8, 2012 by Seigheart