My impression about the 10th Anniversary

[Muratus del Mur]

Hello,

I would like to present you what i believe about this year's anniv...and most of all, tell you what this means for myself and for the future of MD. It will be probably a long read, but i hope it will be worth reading it. I will be very honest with you and this will make some angry, some dissapointed and some happy, but honesty is essential.

 

I have made some promises about daily meetings, that never happend, i must and will answer to that here.

 

Why my absence

First of all, in the first days i had a flu, with fever, and i skipped anything computer related. But even so, my intention changed and I decided not to be present this anniversary, and also not tell anyone about this.

 

For me MD is like my baby, its the work of my life, the place where i put my thoughts, my time, my energy .. my soul.

The problem with MD for me is..sorry...WAS... that I started to had the feeling it is something that can not survive without me constantly pumping it up with energy...be it coding, new ideas, content, or simply just being there. This scared me a lot..so much that it started to affect my life and everything i do, work, personal life, everything.

 

It was years ago when i was alone in MD, doing everything you all managed to do now on your own, creating a dynamic and alive community, with absolutely wonderful people, people i would be honored to know in person each and every one of you, even those that annnoy me :P

 

For me, this anniv was the time for a personal review.

 

I tested many of you, its the way i am, i like to understand people not to judge them, and testing them makes them show a part of who and how they are, and that helps me understand a little bit about myself.

 

This time, i organized my biggest test ever

It was not a test for you (even if i will come to this aspect later because some of you where tested actually), but it was a test for myself. I believe it was the hardest test to 'plan', because its nearly impossible to play chess with yourself and not know what the 'opponent' thinks :)

 

You where me, and I was nobody. Mur did not exist for a breef moment in time, while its faith was decided by this anniv.  YOU and this anniv, made me pass this test, and i thank you ALL for this from all my heart.

 

The stake here was big, huge. If i failed...meaning if you failed..if you stagnated and just waited for a sign from me, or abandon plans, quests, events, and so on...i would have abandoned MD forever. If i was to win this test, I would have found again my power to put soul in it and change my view about it being a life drainer.

 

In ten days of total absence, my soul was tiny and hidden. I found myself refuge in various things, i drank a lot, i went out party with people i never met, i did wild wild things... it was like the last ten days of my life so i spent them as crazy as possible. I had fun. It was not a fun dedicated to md, it was a fun that a man does when he thinks he will "die" tomorow.

 

I was ready to fail this test, to see md fade away, to see the organizers crush, to see really huge characters lose their touch and passion, to see new and promising "noobs" give up..to see many bad things..and i knew if i saw them i would have jumped in and take over, and through that i would have voided my own personal test and maybe i get this chance again in an other ten years, so i stood away from md.

 

 

This was the most beautiful anniv EVER

Even if i was not there, i looked now over many things, reviewd many things, i still have to continue to LEARN from many things that happend during this anniv...but my honest impression, is that this anniv was fully in the spirit of MD and that even the fights and wrongly judged contests where still in md spirit. The well done parts were of course great, i don't even need to mention that :)

The not so well done parts i saw, where treated as i would have expected, in the good sense.

 

You notice i avoided naming anyone

This is because last time i tried to name someone, i realised how unfair it was for the rest of the people i didn't name in one of my posts :P Chew however is something else, (followed closley by BFH) he assumed this anniv to be what i once was, the pumping heart of md, while you where the brain and organs..or the other way around? idk, you get what i mean :)

He did so many things, totally independent from my help, even took over financial disputes, hosting issues, several things i was supposed to do, he did it all, and did not complain one second. He also had no clue i will be entirely missing this anniv...he was a bit upset i was not there to see the fun, but trust me, i wished i could do that too...but now you know why.

I am sad i couldn;t thank the council in such a way when they existed, but i will never forget their importance to md in those years.

 

It is interesting however to study now the differences of how MD is and how I would run MD ...its still for me to determine if this is the print of md having its own path, or because of a different leader, or because maybe i should bring md back to how i wish it to be...i don't know yet. but i will.

 

For example, i would have given rewards for anyone that was actually trying and almost succeeded...without punishing or ignoring significant tries. Others however took things a lot more serious, maybe because of little rewards available, or idk yet.

 

 

I THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS AMAZING EVENT AND FOR MANAGING TO KEEP OUR TRADITION TO REALLY PARTY ONE DAY FOR EACH YEAR. MD NOT ONLY MADE 10 YEARS NOW, BUT ITS ALSO MATURE

 

Maturity does not mean in this case stability, it means MD can remain md even with a major earth-quake shaking it.

 

 

-- Mur

 

 

------ you can stop reading here --------

 

Notes:

 

I will investigate what happened this anniv better and this will determine several things for the future of MD:

- The level of endurance required for someone to be given the liberty of authority, this will determine actual values and balance of requirements to get things

- The reaction of emerging people when they pass their breaking point, this will determine where I can put my trust when releasing very powerful tools (A25)

- The "death" symptoms of main figures in MD, and how to deal with them better...this will determine if we burn our bodies or we offer them a nice funeral or we embalm them and wait for them to ressurect :))

- The dynamics of a group of very smart people and how this educates their inner strength

 

 

Several things are already clear for me:

- MD will never dilute, will remain a training ground of extreme challenge even when its gates will be wide open with the new A25 game beginning that will let many idiots in, but not many will survive.

- MD can and will survive even without myself, so i can rest in peace now, istead of resting in pieces

- Swapping control or shared leadership is better than one leading person or group

- MD is still the learning center of my life, and will educate many more characters for the years to come

- I found my strenght again to build new atractors and to plan the biggest change in md gameplay and interface...because without it, the code coments i once placed years ago in some file would have become true and md would have died through stagnation (chew feel free to paste it if you find it again, this entire post is the answer to those two lines)

 

 

Thank YOU

Edited April 23, 2015 by Muratus del Mur

[Sir Blut]

Ah well [attachment=4615:aint_even_mad_bro.jpg]

 

Hahaha nah but I agree the Birthday went really well, granted, since I joined md 6 years ago or so, the only other birthday Ive been around for has been last year's, but I think this one was even better ^^ Even though some might find your test inconsiderate or irresponsible, I am glad to see that we as a community have passed it ^_^ This is simply something that could NOT have happened in most other games. We MD players are the best ^^

 

I think that considering the fact that there was no help from a council, that everybody put in extra effort and such to make this work and the result was a bunch of awesome creative quests and lots of fun.

 Kind of hurt you didn't have faith in us :(

Edited April 24, 2015 by Sir Blut

[I am Bored]

He always had faith in us, he just didn't realize it.

[Muratus del Mur]

all of you should thank those that made them have fun, learn something good or bad, its totally unfair for me to name anyone ..but now its your responsability to do that :)