Where have the years gone?

[Vicious]

Gosh, it's been quite a while since I've spoken to anyone here. Even the odd person I kept in touch with, I have the last messages sent... A year ago. 

I'm reading over stuff, thinking about the past and the people in it. It's weird to think that other people have been getting on with their own lives. I kind of imagine the people that "lived" here as not ever really ageing or changing in the least. Obviously, I watched people change in front of my eyes and just didn't really ever notice it. I wish I could hear everyone's stories since the last time I spoke to them, to see if everyone else has changed as much as I imagine they have. I'd be surprised if they hadn't to be honest. 

I'm don't know how things are going at the minute. I haven't asked, I don't really want to. In my mind, this is the place it always used to be back when I used to frequent it. There's honestly a special place in my heart for the people and places here, and it makes me tear up a little to type that, feeling silly as all heck as I do. I don't know whether this is a Hello, or a Goodbye, or what else it really could be. Something I can't put into words. That's a bit unlike me, these days. I like to think that I'm just a tad more articulate, flowery, expressive, whatever.

I've had a lot of issues with expression in the past. Perhaps I wanted people to notice when I radically changed? I don't think they did, or they were kind enough to not point it out in a rude way. Maybe that's why I chose this sort of shapeshifter persona, despite how outright irritating that must have been back in the day. I loved to play characters and switch things up, and I think a lot of that was finding myself, as sappy as it reads to my own eyes. I guess my real point here is just in a way that I probably gave off a lot of wrong impressions. I don't mean that in a fake way. I'm not really planning on re/kindling up a bunch of friendships. I didn't know how to get across what I wanted sometimes. Fake hostility probably came out a lot as real hostility. This applies to EVERYONE I ever spoke to at any point. I can't say I've ever... Really, truly, actually despised anyone here, or even remotely disliked anyone for longer than a minute. No, not even you.

It's bittersweet to read over things. Surprisingly, more sweet than bitter. I can't put my finger on it. I feel detached from who I used to be, though as a few people have alluded to in the past, I'm a different person entirely publicly and privately, normally. 

Maybe some of you haven't had a break (and I type that assuming this is going to be read by anyone, I'm fairly sure it isn't.) Maybe you're thinking about what a random little thing this is. I sure am! I've been gone for years though, I think, and think I needed to say something, though I know I've said things along these lines before, but perhaps not as heartfelt as it is now, with all the experience and knowledge I've gotten under my belt since those times.

Anti-climax. Apologies. Sorry for being an annoying little s- sugarcube. I appreciate beyond what I can express in words all the things that you did for me though, intentionally or not, well-intentioned or not.

I love you all, best of luck in whatever you've moved onto since we last spoke, and I hope you're all as young-at-heart as you were back then too. Here's to... I guess... Seven years ago?

~VC

 

Edited April 9, 2019 by Vicious
I'm so dumb. Damn.

[Fang Archbane]

Like a fleeting memory from a dream you just woke out of... here and not here, but never forgotten. If I know anything Vicious, it's that you'll always have a place in my heart. Dont underestimate how much you've touched others, just because you are busy admiring how much they touched you :3  

[Ungod]

Best of luck to you as well, ChaosWord. 

where have they gone, indeed...

[Bashaw Steel]

Farewell, Vici.. for now:))

[DARK DEMON]

Oh man, I do hope this isn't a farewell. Want to meet you one last time at least... I mean, I hope it won't be the last time, but you know what I mean.

7 years ago. Damn I remember, I do. Exactly the bittersweet memories you speak of.

All those freaking years of demanding change, and look. Its change that pulled us all apart in the end. And then all that's left is reminiscence.

Edited April 16, 2019 by DARK DEMON

[VertuHonagan]

On 4/9/2019 at 3:45 AM, Vicious said:

Gosh, it's been quite a while since I've spoken to anyone here. Even the odd person I kept in touch with, I have the last messages sent... A year ago. 

I'm reading over stuff, thinking about the past and the people in it. It's weird to think that other people have been getting on with their own lives. I kind of imagine the people that "lived" here as not ever really ageing or changing in the least. Obviously, I watched people change in front of my eyes and just didn't really ever notice it. I wish I could hear everyone's stories since the last time I spoke to them, to see if everyone else has changed as much as I imagine they have. I'd be surprised if they hadn't to be honest. 

I'm don't know how things are going at the minute. I haven't asked, I don't really want to. In my mind, this is the place it always used to be back when I used to frequent it. There's honestly a special place in my heart for the people and places here, and it makes me tear up a little to type that, feeling silly as all heck as I do. I don't know whether this is a Hello, or a Goodbye, or what else it really could be. Something I can't put into words. That's a bit unlike me, these days. I like to think that I'm just a tad more articulate, flowery, expressive, whatever.

I've had a lot of issues with expression in the past. Perhaps I wanted people to notice when I radically changed? I don't think they did, or they were kind enough to not point it out in a rude way. Maybe that's why I chose this sort of shapeshifter persona, despite how outright irritating that must have been back in the day. I loved to play characters and switch things up, and I think a lot of that was finding myself, as sappy as it reads to my own eyes. I guess my real point here is just in a way that I probably gave off a lot of wrong impressions. I don't mean that in a fake way. I'm not really planning on re/kindling up a bunch of friendships. I didn't know how to get across what I wanted sometimes. Fake hostility probably came out a lot as real hostility. This applies to EVERYONE I ever spoke to at any point. I can't say I've ever... Really, truly, actually despised anyone here, or even remotely disliked anyone for longer than a minute. No, not even you.

It's bittersweet to read over things. Surprisingly, more sweet than bitter. I can't put my finger on it. I feel detached from who I used to be, though as a few people have alluded to in the past, I'm a different person entirely publicly and privately, normally. 

Maybe some of you haven't had a break (and I type that assuming this is going to be read by anyone, I'm fairly sure it isn't.) Maybe you're thinking about what a random little thing this is. I sure am! I've been gone for years though, I think, and think I needed to say something, though I know I've said things along these lines before, but perhaps not as heartfelt as it is now, with all the experience and knowledge I've gotten under my belt since those times.

Anti-climax. Apologies. Sorry for being an annoying little s- sugarcube. I appreciate beyond what I can express in words all the things that you did for me though, intentionally or not, well-intentioned or not.

I love you all, best of luck in whatever you've moved onto since we last spoke, and I hope you're all as young-at-heart as you were back then too. Here's to... I guess... Seven years ago?

~VC

 

I know exactly what you’re talking about! I literally just sat here and read every single one of our 40-50 some odd private messages and just reminiscing. You were one of the 2  people from this game that I really connected with outside of the main game. 

I remember how you used to get so many people upset and I remember defending you, and feeling bad for you because I felt like sometimes you just didn’t realize it or didn’t know any better. I wanted to help you out and show you some guidance so that next time you met them, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad of an experience. Though I will say, I never realized it was fake hostility and I’m sure most people that you had the hostility with thought it was real as well! Haha. 
 

im not going to lie, I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for Chewitt throwing me a random message. Though I’m glad he did! I got to read your messages and even this and it just brought back so much for me. 
 

I will always stay young at heart! Probably because of my hyperness lol. But here is to our long lasting friendship and to say no matter how things change or how much time goes by, we will always be friends and you will always have a place in my heart!  I love you too! ????