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Dream Questers! - Please Vote Your Opinion Now!


Asterdai
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Asterdai wandered through the land of MD. He came accross a tree one day, He felt lonely and sat under its bare brancehs depressed and woeful. Falling away into sleep he dreamt something horrible.


The Weaver of Words

Follow my stave and you may see,
that the words that i speak follow continuiosly,
these words that i speak they seem to be free,
they follow a pattern that is not set by me.
Oh weaver of words
Oh speaker of dreams
Confuse me with riddles
Do not let me see,
The dreams of your mind
The thoughts of your soul
Lest they rip me apart
and devour me whole
The speech from your lips, the speed and the pitch
Your mouth spews a honey of knowledge so rich.
For i know that you mean it, i know that it's true
But no one can see things from my point of view.
Nobody will know, how the pain inside grows
Each word that you speak, my ears they do loath,
Please keep me away for i will fall this day
Your words like hot butter will melt me away,




(A note on the selection of the poems for vote

Asterdai experienced a nightmare, when asking for a dream to be written, a nightmare, confusion, images, unable to control the course of it, symbols, images, are the kinds of things i was looking for. Extra marks should be rewarded for similarity to the poem asterdai wrote or his story. You might say i asked for a dream not a nightmare but these are one and the same to me. Im afraid there were a few poems that i didnt understand, and thats not your fault its mine, please do not be dismayed, i have enjoyed reading them all, thanks for all your effort,
Here are the finalists please vote and more importantly leave a reason for the vote, All these people have made such an effort, they would all apprecaite your support x)

Gargant. 's poem

The dark brings about a change in me
But you do not know, since you do not see
The raging tirade of blackness brings
The need to fly away upon wings
That I see in my mind as the darkness advances
Some call these dreams, visions or trances
the nights of endless sleep repeat
running, flying, escaping the beat
of the urban nightmare I see every day
the sleep at night it takes me away
But dreams have become my unhealthy obsession
Surely by now I would've learned my lesson
The night brings about a change in me,
but you would not know since you do not see
Eternal sleep to wipe my mind clean
An endless slumber, I sleep perchance to dream.

Good points i like :

Other people not understanding, not seeing dream so cant, something experienced inside,
running theme of dreams as a chance to escape is a nice one, endlessly repeating stressing the length of time asterdai has been dreaming for,
wanting eternal sleep to get away from it all, kinda emo, but also really nice image x

Fawes Poem

Looming incandescent light,
Proof of how barren is this night,
No one to hear my screams and plight,
Save me from this demonic plight.

Laughing... and at the corner of my eye.
I see... that is I!
Out of fright, I cry.
For it seems my fate is to die.

And then... I look at where my tears have fell.
In this darkness, it's sheen did naught but compel.
I touched it, then a familiar smell,
Instantaneously had me repel.

Blood! What is happening to me?
I didn't notice the ever-approaching three.
My eyes were too blurred to see.
Either way, I was not free.

But before I could tell what they really were,
I woke up sweating and unsure.
I started laughing at my stature,
Until I heard another laughing rapture.

Good points i like :

no one to hear my screams and plight, similer to gargants and The Weaver of Words,that no one understands
quick snippets of vivid images, reflect darting and uncontrolable mind and thinking while dreaming
nice twist at the end, worrying if its over now the dream is!

Ignatious Grene 's poem

To your dreams -

I watch you sleep, I watch you drool
you want to write - but are a fool
I've seen your smile, I've seen your face
Gracing - pacing place to place

Make me laugh, make me smile
if you find it worthwhile
To frolic and play, to dream and say-
wish words were your way

Like your rest, like your breast
full of dreams - what a pest!
I know slumber, I know pain
almost in away, again

See my grin, see my teeth
you'll never match Keith
in wit nor rhyme,
in the grime.

Good points i like :

just absolutely hilarious! but a bit mean to me! Had to be entered :P

Ailiths Poem
The Dreamer

Deep in slumber his brow furrows deeper,
Twitches and turnings betray the sleeper,
His voice wishes escape, a warning perhaps?
His mind creates, destroys and creates
The realm entire his psyche relates
As the images form, his thought relapse.

A sudden noise, eyes flicker to a stare,
His hand to quill with words to prepare.
The dreams become ink, become verse.
The images and darkest of thoughts
Stand their ground at all the retorts
He, eyes closing again, submits to his curse.

Good points i like :

The way the sleeper seems uncomfortable in his sleep,
his mind creates, destroys and creates - unpredictability of dreams but understanding Everything in it (love that)
image of waking in a stare and immediately turning to paper i love, something ive done myself and that asterdai does ;)
Dreams as a Curse, which i feel it is for asterdai, he doesnt want nightmares! who does!

Phantom Orchid's Poem

Diana's Dream

Last night I dreamed
Of jesters and kings,
Of long scarlet carpets
Where the crier doth sing:
"Do not be dismayed,
Scared or afraid.
Her will, be done,
Thy night it shall come!"

Moonlight descends
On unholy priests,
On the Well of Tears
From where sip the dark beasts.
Iridescent eyes,
Reflecting the skies -
Mother - wolf's howl -
Takes pause in her prowl.

Goddess set free
From the other side,
From the underworld
Where our spirits abide.
Our bodies shall go,
Land that is hallowed,
One with the ground,
Glory of mountains crowned.

As now I dream
Her into me.
Her spirit abounds,
Blurred is the boundary.
Night it seeks day,
Which is taken away.
Dancing around,
As sky meets the ground.

Shades upon us, see,
Accursed Growth tree -
A part of my home;
A vision e'er so comely.
Sweet dream of mine,
Or am I of thine?
Without, within -
We end where we begin

Good points i like :
beautiful imagery, and also imagery of MD used beautifully and woven into the poem with a lot of skill
like how the moon is included in this poem (i think phantom orchid is a err moonlover and if she is, its nice to involve her characters likes in this poem also)
i get the idea of how a dream becomes part of reality, something which interests me especially regarding Necrovion, and i think this works really well here, especially as Asterdai was dreaming at the path of lonliness which is right outside

Blackwood Forest's Poem

Walking there all day long,
My feet hurt me really strong.
I take a nap under the tree,
And sleep away, so suddenly.

But this is just the journeys start,
My mind is weaving dreams so smart.
Sometimes they do me pleasure well,
Sometimes they show me my own hell.

But even in the deepest dream,
I stay the same and always keen.
I turn the story for my vantage,
And gather glory for my senses.

And suddenly the dream is over,
I open eyes, and will be sober.
Then I quickly write all down,
King of my dreams with my own crown.

And if I die, before I wake,
My name will keep for all sake,
And Asterdai will all remember,
For all times in his deeply slumber.

Good points that i like :

Good structure relating to asterdai was dreaming,
Dreamer here "stays the same and allways keen" which gives the idea of how Real the dream is for the person while in it
kinda freaky the idea of dying in a dream, really cool idea, kinda scary eh!?

(PLEASE DO NOT REPLY WITH THIS MESSAGE REPEATED!!! EDIT WHERE NESSERCERY XXXX)

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Critiquing poetry is always sensitive business. I reserve most of my comments.

However:

Ailith's poem has the most interesting structure.
Phantom Orchid's poem has the most vivid imagery, and is on all counts very well written.

I voted for both. I was tempted to vote for Ignatious for the humor... and the reference. :D

~Keith

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[quote name='Shadowseeker' date='11 November 2009 - 06:20 AM' timestamp='1257920417' post='47190']
lol, and you skip mine straight out? :D

Nvm, mine was just a short one anyways, but still :P
[/quote]

yeh um, yours was too clever for me, i couldnt understand it! i feel a little ignorant now!!

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After deliberation and consideration, and err ruminations or something like that,

The Winner is Ailith, i personally liked it the best, and felt an affinity with it as soon as i read it, i know that she did not nessicerily win the vote but that wasnt this was all about, or we could all have created alts to vote annonymously to boost up the rankings, if you know what i mean.

Phantom Orchid's poem has won the vote and also was a very good poem, and shall recieve 5 silver coins from me
Black wood forest shall recieve 3 silver
Gargant will recieve 1 silver
Fawe shall recieve 1

Please approach me for your reward, i will try to find you. Thanks for all yur efforts again, i shall update my pages soonx

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I agree wholeheartedly with dst on this one. I'm frankly disappointed. If you want to choose yourself, do so. If you want a vote, do that. Combining both... just gives the illusion that you don't even care what people are thinking.

It seems to me your mind was made up even before the vote. As you say, you "felt an affinity to it as soon as I read it."

How discouraging. Furthermore, you lost my poem completely, and when I reminded you about it, you assured me that you would look for it. I never heard back after that, so I'm assuming you just threw it out without telling me. Responsiveness to those who are doing your quest is number 1. If people feel ignored, then they will ignore your quest. Learn from this, please.

Awi

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Dst - i dont remember ever yelling at you, anyone would know that i dont yell, i remember having a conversation in the paper cabin, this occured at the time where i was unable to get to send you a PM regarding your quest or see any quest updates due to not being able to click on your name

i said i was looking for you regarding the quest and that i had been looking for you as i couldnt get it to work, you seemed indifferent saying to me that the quest wasnt on at the moment, due to my lag i wrote after you said this, still talking about what problems i was finding (i couldnt do it any other way due to not being able to pm) and i can see why you got irate telling me again that it wasnt on at the moment. im sorry for this inconvenience, it was an inconvenience to us both obviously

Awiya - having lost your poem like you said, i trawled through old messages and found it, thank you for reminding me about it at the time, i really enjoyed reading it and posted it in this forum message for people to see, before i short-listed the poems for public discussion, im sorry to say you didnt make the short listing, but people could still talk about it if they wish on the forum post http://magicduel.invisionzone.com/topic/5419-dream-quest-wp-reward-including-interim-quest/

This post detailed what i wanted to do with my quest and how i wanted to judge it, yes i felt an affinity to Ailith's poem when i read it, but that has no bearing on this i find, all i can say is that i wish i had joined the two posts together so that this situation and misunderstanding had not occured, please accept my sincere apologies, as i really enjoyed re-reading your poem as i did all the entrys which had obviously been given a lot of thought, and i didnt want to make you feel it was not worth it,
it seems you are right, i have a few things to touch up upon, but being my first (and probably one of the most disorganised and non-updating lenghty quests ever) it think it went pretty well, and was amazed at how much effort people put into it, im only a little sad to think that i could not reward more people

All the best

And err um yeh, it was only because i Didnt want to judge it all by myself, as tarquinius said and i totally agree with, judging poetry is hard, i felt because they were all so different, and i tried to explain what i liked about the ones i felt fitted in with Asterdai's situation the most, its a shame more people didnt comment on them as they were definitly worthy of a good discussion, i didnt really know what was going to happen in the public discussion to be honest, and im glad i did it, as it was interesting to see what other people thought x

EDITED( to contain original reason for poll, which i know i should have included on this post and not expect people to go trawling through the forum, ive also been told that these reasons are not concise or clear, a few more factors to consider in the future,)

All requests for Poems will be judged and the best submitted to a Poll, i will include my reasoning for entry for the first "round winners" and then i would like thers to discuss which they believe are ther best and why, Please bear in mind the poll will be used to help me decide who is to be rewarded and the winner may not correlate with the amount of votes recieved. the reasoning behind it is much more important. I really appreciate all the effort and time you guys have gone to and shold at last hnour your submissions by creating a closing date, which shall be this sunday coming (or thereabouts depending on my being able to access MD)

Please consider trying the interim quest, or Part 2 of the quest as these are now up and running and i have checked all parts are working *EDIT* it isnt working, seems that the answers that come up on the clickables are not viewable, garg! this must be due to the changes. i shall ask a friend to sort is ASAP x *EDIT*(it is not easy, no one has completed all the sections yet, with The Warrior providing the greatest achievement so far).

Thank you for your unending patience regarding lost poems, and updates regarding this quest which must have seemed to drag on forever, Asterdai is really a dreamy fella!

This post has been edited by Asterdai: 03 November 2009 - 02:23 PM

Edited by Asterdai
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I used "you" as a general term. I did not mean you specifically shish! I talk to so many players every day that I definitely cannot remember everything and everyone. If I get irritated I let players know or just ignore them. Few are the ones that made my blacklist and they know who they are. But this is not the point.
The point is that in a way I felt cheated. I wanted to help and I really read all the poems even if I HATE poetry. Then you come and declare the winner another player then the one decided by public vote. I really don't understand WHY you opened the topic. And don't get me wrong (it seems you did that already so I will take precautions): I have nothing against Ailith and I have nothing towards Phantom. So, as I said: I wasted valuable time reading something (yes, for me reading poetry is a lose of time) then voting and in the end I find out that I voted just for fun. I have better ways of having fun, thank you.

Clearer now? I do hope so.

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Asterdai,

Thank you for organizing such a quest. It was an honor to partake in it.

-------------------------------------

Such a thing I do not see as competition, but a journey, a path.

When our eyes are narrowed by its end we lose sight of the beauty of the trail, the joy of the hunt.

[i]It would be as if one were to look at my finger when I point at the moon.
[/i]
When I hunt in the woods of Loreroot it is not just for to eat, but for to commune with the ancient rhythm of life/death dancing on feet never tired.

While rewards are a blessing, this quest allowed us to reconnect with dreams and hallowed memories -- a gift greater than 10,000 WPs

Thank you,
Priestess Orchid
Children of the Eclipse

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The poll was primarily for people to discuss the poems to help aide me in the decision made,

I do think it can be used for this purpose, but only one person Tarquinius made a comment, and he highlighted Ailith and phantom orchid and also gave his reasons, therefore i wanted to take his comment into consideration, and they correlated to the results,

i believe Ailith deserved the WP, in my mind, Phantom orchid was given the reward for second place, 5 silver due to the 5 votes she received when the polls results were tallied, and blackwood received 3 ina similer way, all others were given 1 silver,

so your votes DID matter, maybe not in the way you thought it would,

Thanks DST for reading the poems especially as it is not your thing, and for explaining why you were annoyed, that you thought it was a waste of time, it would have been nice if you had left a comment about which you believed to be the best, that would have helped me more.
i believe if more people had left more comments about the poems then the poll would have been more effective but thats not the problem here
the problem was the way i had my reasons for the poll "split" in another forum post, and that they were waffley and unclear, and that if i was to do a poll and expect people to read the poems, that they really should know what the poll is Actually for (thanks for your comment also pip)
i hope now everyone can see why i made the poll, as i believe with proper instruction, i will be able to use this format in the future to help discuss and talk about difficult to decide things such as poems. x

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