First of all, I'd tell you not to lose your head, but, well...from looks of it that's too late. HAHA! Get it? *coughs* Anyway...
Take no heed of the above, they're all very silly and obviously lack any skill in answering questions.
We all know the eternal toilet has plenty of paper! It's made from the finest, freshly pressed creatures, I'll have you know.
As for contacting the DS, everyone knows that they are't the "Delivery Service" they're the "Duty Solicitors". But yes, they could very well help you press charges against anyone for the loss of your head. We're very good at blaming everyone but ourselves ourselves you see. We have a very slight charge per word we speak but you absolutely, definitely, do not, not pay for if you do not not win. So it's all very fair!
I'd suggest you stay away from the shade-y people, not areas. They have a tendancy to attack you, you see. Although, again, we (the Duty Solicitors) could provide you with help to to sue them for all they've got, should this terrible incident happen to you.
As you can see, the fellows above have no idea what they're saying, so it's luck you found me! You could say I'm well "a-head" of the game!
The answer is simple:
Take your nearest item to you and impale, break or asphyxiate your self. Then yell "Help! I want legal help for my injuries!". After that you'll receive your court dates and in a few weeks you'll be out of that land (and in court)! Easy as pie!
Best wishes,
Sasha Lilias
P.s. I've sent you the bill for my services with this letter.