a fragment of my broken mind

[Muratus del Mur]

its been a very very long time since i last touched the notes for my second book... last time i thought i have everything there to put it in a nice form, but as my memory got more and more distorted i find it difficult to connect things in it and i lost that "glue" that was supposed to unite all my notes in a coherent idea.

I would like to share a small fragment i found lost, because somehow i have the feeling i am missing something in it.

[color=#008080][i]"The unhappend future contains all possible versions of events that exist
at the same time like in a homogenous stable soup of timeless reality.
Happening at the same time ([b]without time actually[/b]) makes them perfectly
balanced. Out of this silvery sphere/circle of continuous events,they come
out one by one through the point of present. The remaining versions of one events
become unstable and vanish, only the present remains real for a moment
without time, then only echoes in the memory of the observer [b]through the
unbalance[/b] it leaves behind in the other events around it."[/i][/color]

[i]At a later time i made an other note:[/i]

[color=#008080][i]"The future is formed out of complex "*feelings" (*cant find the right word) [b]that downgrade into events [/b]forming what we see as "past". [b]Time is not the cause but the effect of entropy[/b], because without entropy, these complex "*feelings" would remain stable and not flow. The time flow is caused by unbalance. In a perfectly balanced system time has no place, time is a sign of failure of that system."[/i][/color]


I must say these thoughts alone are mind twisting and i can't understand them myself quite well at this moment..and once they were so clear that i didn't bothered to note them in more detail. When i started the book i had such a clear picture in mind of everything, then things happend and i lost a big part of my mind..added with stress and the shit i've been through past year...i can't make any sense out of this ...and it sucks

If anyone is able to give an opinion..my question is simple:

[b]ARE THE TWO FRAGMENTS IN CONTRADICTION (of any sort) OR COMPLEMENTARY?[/b]


as a note.. apparently..i lost my mind/sanity at the time i found a logical pattern that..lets say..discovered a potential breaking point / exit / gate, call it as you wish...a weak spot of reality. As our mind mirrors the universe we are in (or the opposite, its all the same actually), probably it happend inside my mind what would happen outside of it if such a thing would be reached.
Lets say i have a "system error" and i can't fix it on my own, my only escape is to either shut-down and prevent further damage, or simply retrace the entire logic and ...and what? i have no idea where these leads to..

At some point i reached i thought that i managed to support with a logical structure to maintain its meaning in my head .. "nothing exists". The beauty is that "nothing exists" does not contradict with "everything is possible".. even the words mean something else if you are carefull how you read them.


am i realy losing my mind? does any of this make any sense to any of you?


[b]i will reply ONCE to each person sharing their opinion about my initial question, that way everyone gets to reply to this initial post..whatever you discuss based on it feel free to do so, i will read, but i will try not to reply in order to avoid deviating from the initial question[/b]

Edited January 9, 2013 by Muratus del Mur
one reply comment

[ZenTao]

They say the universe came from nothing like an absolute zero then an explosion and now here we are. Anything, something, everything and nothing are similar because they need each other to exist. Within all of those ( and none of those) lies balance. Nothing would be something else if not for something, anything, everything. It could be that those words are like the shell and inside the shell is nothing. I find myself seeing, that the more time goes on, the more I realize how little I understand however this does not keep me from wanting to know things that seemingly have no solid answer and that is confusing. I wonder is unknown related to nothing? If something is unknown and can not be known but must have some conclusion , must it have an answer? Or is the answer unknown and nothing?

[i]"The future is formed out of complex "*feelings" (*cant find the right word) [b]that downgrade into events [/b]forming what we see as "past". [b]Time is not the cause but the effect of entropy[/b], because without entropy, these complex "*feelings" would remain stable and not flow. The time flow is caused by unbalance. In a perfectly balanced system time has no place, time is a sign of failure of that system."[/i]

Would the word for feelings be "Intentions"?

And they do both complement and contrast each-other...

[Muratus del Mur]

[b]"And they do both complement and contrast each-other..." [/b]...so your answer tells me "congratulations you achieved a ..beep..system error" lol
people keep telling me i have contradicting ideas and i spot this more and more in my judgement , yet i can't find the error. When you understand nothing and everything is the same ..it breaks things in pieces in your mind..now i am standing before a pile of paper that all makes sense yet contradicts...as i said, i can't find the glue to it.

I am seriously thinking to either burn it, give up, hide it...or give it more rest, because as it is now, the only feeling i get when i get close to that missing "glue" is fear.

Can thoughts alone change reality, of course they can. This book will (already did) change my own reality and probably its impossible to finish anyway...however my pride prevents me from stopping..

imagine you discovered a door and you know that if you open that door something unbelievable will come to reality...i am the type of person that pushes "red buttons" as you know...but so far my research cost me my sanity

There is a moral issue here, disclosing this 'gate' can help some do terrible harm, will drive some crazy (and 99% will remain ignorant ofc, but as i do in md i ignore that 99% that has no interest in researching things )


and no...intentions imply someones identity..unless you put "god" as a concept in this, then no, thats not a word that fits

[b]i will reply ONCE to each person sharing their opinion about my initial question, [/b]so lets not turn this into a discussion that will deviate from the subject

[Fang Archbane]

Ill keep this short and sweet.

Before you ask if they contradict or compliment... ask yourself this.

One can not lose what one never had (Or can they?). And i doubt you ever had your mind. Allow me to explain.

When i compare what i know now, to that of a year ago, i laugh at my younger self.

And so i realize i really knew nothing, and i still know nothing to this day. Tomorrow ill know a little less nothing, but that will never change.

Im sure this is no news to you, but ask yourself this.

How can you lose your mind, if you never truly had it?

[Ackshan Bemunah]

From my reading, when you say perfect balance you're saying something along the lines of every moment being a sort of equip-potential surface from the perspective of this trickling "feeling". I'm assuming when you refer to the point of the present you mean a point of the present for each observer. In that case at any time other than the exact moment, there would be unbalance as only a small and expanding (shape-of-lesser-dimension) of what was part of the moment would remain in-balance with the new moment. So from the shell you previously had, you would retain a circle/oval/who-cares-it's-a-metaphor that expands.

If a particular observer's shell at a given moment changes things along its surface, then as the observer moves imbalances will ripple from past moments, changing the shape of the shell so that the shell remains balanced.

(Maybe? I'm trying to consider this all like I think of electric fields.)



EDIT: See fang's post above for a perfect example.
--

I really don't understand how the bolded sections of the other paragraph could possibly be seen as contrasting each other. I don't know why you're confused on that one.

This probably means I'm confused.

Edited January 9, 2013 by Ackshan Bemunah

[Muratus del Mur]

@Fang
when you keep going on a path that takes you somewhere, and at some point you realise you are lost, thats how it feels when you lose your mind. The mind is not stable, that is true, not in knowledge not in functionality, maybe a better rephrasing would be, i am lowering my thinking capabilities by running into situations that i can no longer solve...
When i look back to how i was, i am scared myself too, totally changed, I used to be Manu, now I am Mur.. for those of you that know the difference

@Ackshan
yet i fear they are contrasting, this means in my mind somewhere the "error" tells me there is something missing. You see, my rational thinking its actually fine tuned intuitive thinking.. (don't even try to go into the left/right brain thing, i have no explenation so far but for me it works as it is) I can see 1+1, reason it is 2, but intuitively know its 1+1=1 so i go blindly in that direction...eventually i find an answer and so far my intuition was always right. I feel a contradiction between the ideas present in the two passages, and as my reasoning tells me they are not contradicting, i try to determine if i have a system error in my mind or if i am missing some clue in all this. Listening to other people answers to my dilema makes me see the situation from more perspectives and eventually i will determine if i am crazy or if i am just tracing a clue i didn't find yet (ofc both are possible at the same time:P)

[Fang Archbane]

I just let my fate be decided by my raw instinct.

I find that when i think too much (or at least, my broken version of thinking) I tend to pick "wrong".

Wheras when i let my fate be decided by my gut, ive yet to "fail" to this day.

So im probably not the most qualified to help you answer your question.

But what my gut tells me is that maybe you should try to stop thinking.

Maybe option C is the best one for now.

Just let the wind guide you Murmur.

Lets see where it leads.

[Pipstickz]

[url="http://storenow.net/my/?f=5797"]http://storenow.net/my/?f=5797[/url]
[url="http://apexamreviewperiod5.wikispaces.com/file/view/Geocentric_VS_Heliocentrism.jpg/222605848/Geocentric_VS_Heliocentrism.jpg"]http://apexamreviewperiod5.wikispaces.com/file/view/Geocentric_VS_Heliocentrism.jpg/222605848/Geocentric_VS_Heliocentrism.jpg[/url]
The way I see it, the two ideas are two different ways of describing the same thing, similar to the difference between an earth-centric model and a sun-centric model, the solar system.

As you can see from my imperfect MSPaint representation, the first is more descriptive, while the second is more plain and easy to understand. Essentially, though, they are both the same: the complex, perfect future becomes the imperfect, fading past.



Also somewhat related since you mentioned your second book, it reminded me of your first book. Do you still have any copies now that I have the means to buy them? The information would probably turn my brains to more mush, but it'd be really cool to have a piece of Mur among my collection of books

[Phantom Orchid]

[font=comic sans ms,cursive]First off. You are not losing your mind. You may be a little bit crazy, but that is only because there is a very fine line between brilliance and madness. [/font]

[font=comic sans ms,cursive]Your two points are complimentary. Future as a perfect balance, time/space of events moves, disrupting that perfect balance.[/font]

[font=comic sans ms,cursive]However, I wonder - how do you view existence/consciousness? Linear? Circular? [/font]

[font=comic sans ms,cursive]IMHO the future and past are illusions. There is only the present, because Time does not exist. Sure, we have concepts of past and future, but, we can only [i]experience[/i] existence/thoughts in the present (no matter how fantastically lucid the dream/astral projection/whatever may be ). [/font]

[font=comic sans ms,cursive]But, most importantly - where is the balance in these thoughts? What is revealed in their reflection? Their shadow? Since our actions can only shape the present, how can you use these thoughts [i]in the now [/i]to influence the future?[/font]

[font=comic sans ms,cursive]Careful, lest you become trapped in Time.[/font]

[Ackshan Bemunah]

I want your book too.

Didn't realise you were asking for a relation between the passages. From that perspective, they don't seem to be in contradiction. The second explains the reason for the entropy in our system and the first demonstrates the actual mechanism of the "feelings" flowing.

[Tom Pouce]

Maybe yu should read if yu did not already do so Mc TAGGART (1908)

Time is not real

there link to file .pdf

[url="http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=%E2%80%9CThe+Unreality+of+Time%E2%80%9D+(1908)+pdf&source=web&cd=22&cad=rja&ved=0CD8QFjABOBQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Femilkirkegaard.dk%2Fen%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FJohn-M.-E.-Mctaggart-Time-Is-Not-Real-.pdf&ei=_wjtUOeBD4fs0QHs84DQAQ&usg=AFQjCNEDMMXjHtssA_wLEBSfZ8lQxZup7g"]http://www.google.ca...LEBSfZ8lQxZup7g[/url]


(you need to find your own answer, i can only try to give you tool that maybe will help yu)

Edited January 9, 2013 by Tom Pouce

[Shadowseeker]

I'm not sure I actually want to reply to this, but oh well.

Pipstickz summarized it very shortly I think, but...maybe these notes won't be enough to jog your memory, or maybe I'll be too cryptic myself.

[color=#008080][i]In a perfectly balanced system time has no place- [/i][b][i]Hourglass.[/i][/b][/color]

[color=#008080][i]Happening at the same time ([b]without time actually[/b]) makes them perfectly
balanced [/i][/color][color=#008080][i]- [b]Concept of timelessness[/b][/i][/color]

[color=#008080][i][b]that downgrade into events [/b]forming what we see as "past"[/i][/color][color=#008080][i]- [b]Concept of timelessness[/b][/i][/color]

[color=#008080][i]then only echoes in the memory of the observer [b]through the
unbalance[/b] it leaves behind in the other events around it[/i][/color]- [b]You balance before to create one, maybe that's why it is so unstable, since it is an instability to begin with?[/b]

I wouldn't say it contradicts, but at the same time it does not really complement yet. At least not without keys to...2 or 3 things, I think.

[Lazarus]

I think the real issue here is not the statements, but a much deeper, a personal one, something that has to do with your mind.

They see your statements as contradicting simply because they don't have the same understanding of things as you do. You may perceive one thing different than the others, and I believe you're crossing that very fine line between the borders of intelligence and insanity. We, as humans, are facing a lot of challenges in life, it greatly affects our way of thinking, stress, anxiety, happiness, grief, all these emotions comes into play, but it's not these emotions that fueled your mind to think about these complex ideas, it's the "momentum" which is influenced by new ideas and new knowledge.

We form an idea and we want to share it to the world and we try to see if they do think the same as ourselves. Now, having said that, you had your momentum going, you formed a brand new idea or enlightenment and you put that on a sheet of paper for you to remember, then something happened, good or bad, the momentum is lost. One day you have it again, you formed a brand new idea and you tried to incorporate it to your previous idea that has the same context, but this one has a slightly different taste to it, the reason why is because when something happened to us after we formed the previous one, it left a trail of that feeling to our basic understanding of things, it affected our way of thinking but not in a grand scale, so the outcome is a bit different.

We see it differently because of the way it is perceived in a totally separate time frames, thus when you had the clear picture of everything in your mind, you started writing on it, and thinks of some additional information/ideas, which often makes your mind jump to different ones and eventually to the ideas that has nothing to do with your current one, like when you're browsing some hits by Adele on youtube, then an hour later you couldn't even remember what leads you to watch a video of Fly porn on the National Geographic youtube channel. I think what I'm trying to say is that time affects ideas, ideas affects momentum, and momentum affects motivation, sometimes a "shortcut" goes in between the sequence so it leads to losing all of the core subject as to why the hell are we doing the things we do.

So Mur, to me your fragments are not contradicting, it's just has that different taste, maybe because of the wordings. And you not crazy, you're just psychologically enchanted with batshit insane flying ideas in full color wandering at the speed of light in your surroundings.

I apologize if it doesn't make any sense, the Lager made my head a little bit unbalanced tonight and it will surely affect my future, which is called "tomorrow" when I decide to clean up my place in an entropical way. Adieu!

[Ackshan Bemunah]

[color=#333333]"Atticus said that Jem was trying hard to forget something, but what he was really doing was storing it away for a while, until enough time passed. Then he would be able to think about it and sort things out. When he was able to think about it, Jem would be himself again." -- To Kill a Mockingbird[/color]

[Menhir]

COMPLEMENTARY or CONTRADICTION – I say both are in and here we are losing our mind. We as beings who are not living in the exact moment are not able to understand the matters of the nonexistence of time. We as individual feeling observers are not able to leave duality. Outside of duality neither feelings nore time exists. How can you say (feel) something is “warm” if there is no counterpart of “warm” which would mean “cold” or “not as warm as this” or “hot”. Time has no counterpart in our understanding. Everything we can describe as “us” or “me” depends on the matter of time. The nonexistence of time is a contradiction of what we observe as life and we observe ourselves as part of life. Even if someone tries to understand the balance (I think here you have the feeling that you´re losing your mind) with his mind he cannot succeed because the mind in a part of duality. If he succeeds (somehow) it would mean his existence would either stop or/and be moved to a different stage (level of existence – different vibrancy ect.) which is hardly seen as life as we know it (maybe your fear comes from this source of inner understanding). Maybe you are not ready to leave or move on to whatever comes next after duality.

So I say we are all existing only because of the fact that we can observe the past and the future and all talks about being in the moment are a romantic version of life which is not existing in this time on this planet in this vibrancy we are all in.

Just a small example. You`re in the middle of a forest. Now you try to BE IN THE MOMENT.
I try to understand now what it would mean and I´m just scratching the surface here.

Feeling the air which surrounds you on your skin in your nose & eyes

hear all sounds around you

hear all sounds inside you

see/feel all movements which are possible to observe outside & inside

feel all emotions inside of you

observe all “your” thoughts

observe “your” breath

observe “your” body movements (e.g. flowing of blood)

feel the movement of the earth (which is possible – I did)

There are many more things we are able to observe/feel at every moment and I doubt that anyone can do it at THE MOMENT and in complication to this ONE SINGLE MOMENT you have to imagine that EVERY MOMENT need to be like this one - CONSTANTLY.

To be able to “do” this, one can easily see that this nothing we would describe as human “BE”-ings (as we know/understand us). Humans are “BE”-ings so we are what we are and this needs to be discovered through life. I don´t know if you are still trying to understand this “BE”-ing as a human or if you already moved yourself to a position of observing which is outside of it.
What you describe in your small fragments is the glimpse you had or have into another vibrancy and your mind, only existing and properly working in the duality you´re living, isn´t accepting this properly. So you get so called “crazy”.

In the german language we have a word for it and if you take a deeper look at the german language you will find in nearly every word a much deeper meaning as we use those words in our daily routine. Here is the example which fits perfectly to the topic of losing the mind.

The word is: “verrückt” and we use it when we describe humans who are insane or have strange not accepted ideas (its a negative word in german language used in this combination).

“Der ist ja verrückt!”

“He is insane!”

But we use the same word when we move a chair from one spot to another.

“Ich verrücke den Stuhl.”

I moved the chair.

So movement from one position to another. I think the same happens with the so called crazy minds of the so called mentally ill people. As far as I can observe it, “they” are just able to see other things, understand the world we are living in, differently as the so called “normal mass”. There were moved a little bit to a “place” outside of the “normality” (duality). So they are a contradiction to the existing world of all others AND they are in complementary to the existence itself because everything they see is existing, otherwise they would not see/feel it.

So I say both comments are true it depends from which point of view you´re looking at it.

The fragments are in COMPLEMENTARY [u]and[/u] CONTRADICTION to each other.

Mur I don´t know if you´re interested but if you like to talk about ideas of a “solution” for your “situation” maybe I can be of service without saying that it will help. I would not say this if I had not similar “experiences” in my life. Give me a short note when and how and we can come together and if you already have any ideas or did something (even if I have no idea myself except my “own” experiences).

Edited January 9, 2013 by Menhir

[Azull]

Both statements are somewhat complimentary.
However, the clue you may have missed is “choice” or rather what I like to call “the forward rippling of choices”. The observers unhappend future is stable and perfectly balanced until a choice is made. A specific present will cause “forward ripples” and make another specific (future) present more likely to happen. For instance, when you jump off the roof of a building, the likely future present will be you hitting the ground at an unpleasant speed.

I think this is enough to answer your initial question. If you think this makes sense, there are one or two other observations I might make

Edited January 9, 2013 by Azull

[Maebius]

[quote name='Muratus del Mur' timestamp='1357697038' post='129937']
[color=#008080][i]"The unhappend future contains all possible versions of events that exist
at the same time like in a homogenous stable soup of timeless reality.
Happening at the same time ([b]without time actually[/b]) makes them perfectly
balanced. Out of this silvery sphere/circle of continuous events,they come
out one by one through the point of present. The remaining versions of one events
become unstable and vanish, only the present remains real for a moment
without time, then only echoes in the memory of the observer [b]through the
unbalance[/b] it leaves behind in the other events around it."[/i][/color][/quote]

[quote name='Muratus del Mur' timestamp='1357697038' post='129937']
[color=#008080][i]"The future is formed out of complex "*feelings" (*cant find the right word) [b]that downgrade into events [/b]forming what we see as "past". [b]Time is not the cause but the effect of entropy[/b], because without entropy, these complex "*feelings" would remain stable and not flow. The time flow is caused by unbalance. In a perfectly balanced system time has no place, time is a sign of failure of that system."[/i][/color][/quote]
[b]ARE THE TWO FRAGMENTS IN CONTRADICTION (of any sort) OR COMPLEMENTARY?[/b]

I would see these as ... actually slightly contradictory, and am not sure of the words to explain it best.

In your first, it seems very much like my own understanding of the multi-verse theory, quantum mechanics, and all that. The future is infinite potential, until Observation locks it into one state, on Choice, and the rest is history. It's that famous cat in a box with poison in simplified form. In that perspective, there is no absolute Will or Path for the universe to take. All things are possible, and all can become reality, depending on how luck or our actions tug at the probabilities of things. (read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams for a short fictional thought experiment about Probability sometime, I think you'll like it). Seeing the past as the imbalanced Potential is a really interesting way of looking at it though.
Making the past merely "memories of what as not", is a unique way of describing that multi-verse...


The second quote seems similar at first glance, but as I am reading it, fundamentally shifts the infinity of possibility towards the Observer by calling it a realm of Feeling and Intuition. Perhaps 'The Observer' is myself(ourselves), in which case that outlook destroys the idea of pure chaos. Perhaps the Observer is a more meta-entity, call it Pre-destination, call it the Universal Mind, observing itself, call it Fate. But that second one puts much more power in our hands. You comments about Time being a result of that "failed balance" seems a bit off to me, though, because Time itself is the cause of the balance. Entropy is the effect of the imbalance. So, since we experience both, there is a fundamental, primal, and deeply rooted "imbalance" in the entirety of Reality. We perceive it as time, and Events.

The focus on what Time is in the second quote does not, to me, directly correlate, contradict, or compliment the more general "theory" in the first quote though. They are slightly different topics, about the same Universe. Like describing thermodynamics, and fluid dynamics. Linked strongly, but not -exactly- the same field of study.

HOWEVER, the way I see things, deeply, is that to take one more step back and consider Reality as a closed system, that imbalance is it's balance.
It runs, flows, Exists and Changes over Time. I don't think that's imperfection at all, it's the heart of perfection.
Life Happens, it does not simply Be.

(on a side note, this reminds me of a lovely "argument" I had with my good friend about Fate and forward ripples and such. Ignore the first half about the specific film, start halfway down, when I discuss traffic, which starts "[color=#a9a9a9]In the discussions regarding these two movies.[/color]..: [url="http://everthorn.net/musings/2008/07/new-moon-0708-what-the-bleep-the-secret-and-such/?p=219"]http://everthorn.net...and-such/?p=219[/url])

Edited January 9, 2013 by Maebius

[Tipu]

[quote name='Muratus del Mur' timestamp='1357697038' post='129937']
Lets say i have a "system error" and i can't fix it on my own, my only escape is to either shut-down and prevent further damage, or simply retrace the entire logic and ...and what? i have no idea where these leads to..
[/quote]

Well i played a game called wargame2.0 or something like that about 3 yrs back. Its a turn based strategy game and just like MD it was a solo Admin game he doesn't even have forum mods. He(admin) is alone doing all the bug fixing, server maintenance, updates and Plus he does his game as a part time. So what he did was to have a back up for almost everything. He had a back up server which runs on emergency generators with back up ventilator fans + 2 duplicate systems and 1 stand by system and such. I mean if something goes wrong he shuts down the system and back up system takes over mean while he tries to fix his main system. This allowed him to buy time so if he can't fix it alone he called for help. I liked him since he got back up plans for almost all possible failures.

The rest doesn't make any sense to me hehe.

[Change]

These thoughts only appear contradictory in that you call the first system balanced, and the other system unbalanced because of entropy. I think that the second system of feelings or emotions described is also timeless.

The idea of a realm of thoughts/feelings/spirits, call it what you will, is not a new one of course. It's been called the astral plane, the ethereal plane, the spirit world, the mental plane, etc. In such paradigms there's often one such plane, which is paired with the physical realm/plane. In others there are several planes.

In quite a few of these paradigms, these non-physical realms are considered to be 'higher' realms, in that they influence the physical plane from the top down. That is, what happens on those planes 'leaks down' to the physical plane. This could be an effect of entropy. These spirit realms and such are sometimes considered to be timeless, or at least, time is easily moved through.

[center]~[/center]

If we assume that both thoughts are referring to the same thing, then they are complimentary to each other in that sense. For instance, in the second note, the feelings that don't align with the ones leaked into the present could be assumed to vanish, just like in the first note.

Thus, both notes could be describing the exact same thing as understood in the exact same way. Or, the second note could be an updated version of the first, with corrections. I know that I've often written something down, forgot about it for a moment and let my subconscious think on it, and then come back to write an edited version/new version of my first thought.

You may in fact be 'losing your mind', in a sense. While you don't describe what you study as magic (from what I've read), aspects of it have been called magic by others. If you use your understanding of the world to influence it, then you are practicing magic, especially if you're using understandings that aren't common knowledge. Obviously it's not magic since it's reality, however magic is a convenient term.

Anyone who tries to understand and utilize the inner workings of reality is an Occult Arts Practitioner, that is, a Practitioner of Hidden Arts. It's commonly accepted among occult arts practitioners that anyone who starts a journey to understand reality (whether as a philosopher or a magician) will lose their mind, multiple times over. However, this comes with the territory. What matters most, in my opinion, is being able to keep on living, thinking, and persuing ones goals.

Finding what you're discovering harder and harder to understand, doesn't mean that you're losing your mind. All discoveries lead to more questions, and something that you thought simple and easy to understand before might become complex because of what you know now. I've personally 'lost my mind' by thinking about reality on more than one occassion.

I need to think more on the two notes in question, but hopefully this general advice was helpful. Like attracts like is a common principle in many paradigms. By creating magicduel, you've attracted certain groups of people. Magicduel is a game, therefore you've attracted gamers who will enjoy it as a game. Magicduel is also more than just a game to you, and quite a few others. By creating magicduel, I think you're trying to ideally show your paradigm of reality in an interactive form. Thus, apart from gamers, you've attracted philosophers, those from the social sciences, writers, artists, occultists, wizards, witches, and more.

On a seperate, but related note: You're an artist among other things. Artists are always super-critical of their own work. I've considered many things written by others to be works of genius when compared to mine (especially for more mundane things such as stories). However, when other people comment on my writing and art, they think of it as way better than I did. Of course there's the possibility of considering everything created by oneself to be a work of genius that no one else can achieve, but that's extremely rare.

Although grinding shouldn't be necessary in games, it is necessary in real life, though it's usually a lot more interesting. Thus keep on creating art, keep on thinking and writing of your thoughts of reality, no matter how bad you think of what you produce. There will be many roadblocks, but the important thing is to not give up permanently. It's not the end of the world if you give up on something for awhile, and then come back to it, however consistency is rewarded, as you of course know and practice.

I'm not even going to bother editing this. It's taken a great amount of will to stop writing. Writing and thinking like this feels effortless when I can write one word each second, so I could almost literally go on forever.

Hope this has made some sense to others, and especially you, Mur.

[Sephirah Caelum]

I do think the fragments contradict themselves. And the whole thing don't make any sense.

[Laphers]

If time is a spectrum with past at one end and future at the other and that correlates with another spectrum with entropy and stasis at either end and the future is actually made up of all "unhappened" events but also all past and present events (allowing that just because an event happened doesn't preclude said event from happening again) then the future is actually in stasis. The introduction of entropy creates the event(present) and as the event devolves into entropy it fades into the past.

In this way I believe that the two statements complement one another.

The question that I ask is this. Is entropy contained within the future pushing the present out of the future (since the future contains all possibilities including the future being entropic) or is it outside of the future and it "pulls" the present out of the future allowing for the possibility of the event to happen again (like inducing electrical current across coils)?

[Muratus del Mur]

i thought to update this with how i see things now. as time passes certain circuits of my mind still comnect to continue thoughts started long ago.

i believe entropy is indicating a gap that is draining a perfectly timeless and balanced -thing- back into its own future. This -thing- lets call it universe for now, but something still doesn't fit in that term, is basically like a coil entering and exiting this one gap. enough for now, this is a very slow motion thought i have, might take many years to evolve

[Maebius]

Entropy is the gravity that levels the water on an infinite bumpy slope.  

There are quite a few points for "stability" to form lakes on the mountainside, but crack one open and it still flows down to the next "false zero". 

 

:ph34r: :blink:

[Muratus del Mur]

zero is >attractive< :)))

[Yasrin Luvien]

I think the two statements are complementary. If the future is a homogeneous, stable soup, then it makes sense that there would be systems in place to balance things. Time is the grinding of those "feelings" (maybe archetypes?) which probably form all sorts of complex shapes (fractals and whatnot), and the point where they grind together is time and reality. If entropy causes time, it makes sense that the marks left 'behind' by time (memories) reflect the unbalance. The loop of the outer system curving back into itself, keeping the entire system balanced, is one of the larger encasing our world I would say. The point of void is where (this/all?) existence occurs, where the system breaks down into infinitely smaller systems, pulled by the void. However, I suspect this could be explained differently. I also get an idea of a sphere instead of a circle, since a sphere is a step up (but then why not go to a wave-field, or to a concept?), but maybe including a spiral althroughout, where time exists only in the very center where everything/nothing is colliding? It's all complex, while being simple at the same time. I feel there is a unifying something but I can't quite get it...