I remember having such a joy last year or the year before in realizing that the books I studied, if someone got angry, they lost the meaning. If he assumed his goal right, he learned to die faster instead of live deeper.
What a cruel thing to be happy about.
There are levels and levels...only recently I started trying to piece together the actual people in my life, to see their beauty, rather than just the beauty of words or single choices. And my bad traits are screwing it up...good thing they are self-destroying so not forever "mine" (E: hence the cruel thing to be happy about...is a comfort, too) but I'd rather replace them with something more wholesome, y'know?
On a good day I can be humble/tolerant reading a sentence till I see a good in its whole (with a scarring exception)...but actual whole people?
You don't get a second chance, you have to seize the whole moment and replay it over and over till you can react right, and if you don't they might hide everything from you, since you tried to "break" them.
*sigh* and rightly so
and when you "break" them you become broken to them....so it has to be you to fix it