Lost

[Muratus del Mur]

Why is there that someone can be lost? Its a philosophical question.
Someone is lost because it doenst have a purpose anymore maybe? Or it has nothing to do with purpose? There are so many of us that do not aim for a purpose yet they are happy and not "lost". I am trying to determine and understand this feeling. I have purpos(es) lots, i do not miss them, lol, in fact they are too many and in too many directions. Why is it that i feel like this, that i feel like losing everything so that i wont feel lost .... yes you heard right, the words are placed in the correct order. I can't undersand it, nor explain it, the feeling itself i mean, not its reasons, cause or future consequences. I used to understand and disect feelings, to analyze them and to controll them, but this one escaped me. I had the chance of understanding it like 10 years ago, but back i was to young. Now i feel it the same and i feel i am still that kind that will break in front of this terrible feeling.

How is it that the feeling of being lost is not opposite to the feeling of confort or happiness, in my head at least. I can be a normal man and at the same time lost, why, what is the counterfeeling that balances it if its not that?

I thought 100 times before writing this public, but it seems my private life is no more of concern to anyone than it is when it becomes public ..so what the hell do i have to lose, a few gossips here and there, BUT maybe in return i get an answer, a smart and usefull one.

[Grido]

Feelings arent meant to be understood, perhaps the problem lies in your trying to analyse them?

Don't try and determine the feeling of being lost, try and find what gives you the feeling of being found, and do that

[Shadowseeker]

Being lost isn't the opposite of comfort, happiness..it's about contentness.

I am like I am, and I like it.

That sentence tells me I am content with myself, I feel that even though people are having more fun than me, cash than me, etc...I am content with what I have, and what I did.

Being lost to me means I don't feel this contentness I have when I can rest at home. Contentness iss partially involved with the purposes, but only if these purposes make you think: YES; I am glad that I can do this.

So right now to me it seems you lack this contentness, be it due to stress, unhappy events which spoiled the formally fun purposes, and so on.

Edit: The only advice I can offer is:
Try to do things you haven't done in ages, or experiment, try to do new things. However, it is unlikely that doing what you currently do will help you Rediscover or discover something- that often helps.

Edited September 1, 2010 by Shadowseeker

[Mya Celestia]

[color="#8B0000"][font="Palatino Linotype"]When I get the feeling of being lost, it's because I've lost the connection to what is really important. I may be near it (like my kids), but still not have that connection. Like a boat floating near a dock yet not tied to it. At any moment it could completely drift away, then great effort has to be made to truly recover it.

Even though you love it or them, the connection has been lost. It often takes tearing away until you truly come to the heart of what that connection is then nurturing it like a fragile flower until it blooms again. That's how it is for me. I hope my words may help you in some way.[/font][/color]

[Fyrd Argentus]

Some of us seem more driven than Shadowseeker. The way I was raised, I must always be moving forward to make the most of my talents, or I feel guilty that I am wasting them. Anything less than perfect meant I didn't try hard enough.

"Content" is thus not an option. This leaves only driving towards a goal, or lost. The opposite of "lost" is thus some conglomerate of "determined", "committed", "focussed", etc., not contentment. Content is breaking out of that driven cycle.

For people with limited imagination and modest goals, finding one good thing that they can do is enough for them. They then dedicate their life to doing that one thing well - and are content.

For creative people with both imaginination and unwillingness to rest on their laurels, having TOO MANY GOALS results in a form of indecision. Which goal should I be driving towards? This then results in that same feeling of not knowing where to go next, what to do next - the feeling of being lost.

I have fought this all my life, but then as I get older and people around me start dying, and I must face the fact that I will not be able to do and succeed at everything that I can imagine, the idea of doing SOMETHING begins to look better than the idea of not finishing anything. So a mediocre choice is better than no choice at all. When your perspective changes, you may feel regrets and sense lost opportunities, but the lostness of indecision is replaced by the frantic desire to do SOMETHING before the clock runs out.

Life is like a roulette wheel - you got to put your money somewhere, and if you don't bet, you can't win.

[Rasiel]

Emotions are like fire, it gives us the illusion that we have control of it sometimes but if we don't pay attention to it it can easily cause lots of damage.

I hope my little advice can help you but perhaps you should let your emotions take over you and maybe in the end you will better understand them.

Edited September 1, 2010 by Rasiel

[Windy]

Being lost or the feeling of being lost means different things to many people. Sometimes we lose our selves in doing everything for others. In giving to others or trying to please everyone we love or work with, we forget sometimes to remember who and what we are.

If you look in the mirror and don't feel connected to that image, then to me, that means you've forgotten to take care of #1, YOU. It is time to delegate more work to others and take sometime for yourself. Go back to the beginning and review what your original goals and dreams were. It is time to be true to yourself.

I've had this feeling about you for sometime, Mur. You have so much going on that you do not know if you are coming or going...God forbid if you bump into yourself.

Stand back at the image looking back at you from the mirror. Do you like that person? Do you love that person? Do you remember who that person is? Food for thought, darling.

[ERO]

....life, on this flesh and bones body, has one single purpose: redemption... getting nirvana...breaking karma rules...you can call this how you prefere (depending on what religion you was born and raise)...it´s more or less the same thing...
...the road to reach this purpose is our life or lives...on this earth or another...
...and Mya said a big truth:the majority of us lost the connection to what is really important in this life...
...you are a bright person and i know you will find your way...
..or you can search for guidance...
there is a sayngs:´when the disciple is ready, the master will apear´´...

[Novato]

There are a big difference between live a life with "purpose" and live with "valor". Few people live with both purpose and valor, but it's not true for most. Live one life with valor is live with comfort, happiness. Live with purpose is have a "bigger than life" goal, is leave your mark on world.

Someone who always have a lot of fun, but don't have any achievements, don't develop his skills more than he just need to survive and do a job just to survive or have more fun, comfort; live one life with valor, but without purpose. Someone who save lifes, discovery something that will help all humanit or do great things in anyway, but is myserable, unhappy; live one life with purpose, but without valor.

But it's possible to live with both purpose and valor, it's what Socrates call "life of analyzes" where you developed the reason and that reason have a purpose and content you at the same time. For him, it was not the best life, but the only life possible. Maybe, we fell lost when we don't balance these both aspects.

[awiiya]

For me, lost has less to do with "purpose" and more to do with familiarity.

Just like the root of the expression, the way one becomes physically lost is by not knowing their surroundings. An emotional state of "lost" is a similar idea with a different setting: either you do not know yourself, or you do not know how you feel about things around you.

When placed in an unfamiliar room in a comfortable bed, many of us still are uncomfortable. Ever had trouble sleeping in a hotel? The beds are always nicer than my own at home, but it is the emotional connection that factors into the needed feelings of security.

The opposite of lost is therefore not secure or with a set purpose, but the sense of being connected.

Links mean much, and there is more to "making someone feel at home" than you might expect. The ones who excell at politics and public relations are often people that are disarmingly friendly, or that remind you of people you already know. You're unlikely to instantly like anything unless you have already had exposure to a similar thing.

This works for music too. Have you noticed that all pop songs are essentially the same, transformed or transposed a bit? People don't want revolutionary changes in song-writing, instead they want slight updates to an already established form.

Awi

[Yrthilian]

lost?

well depending on the type of lost on what the posable "found" is

lost is the terms of Mur's book

This to me would be as per the digram of ballance
the digram shows an extrem good and extrem evil. and a ballance between both
lost could be the dead center/ballance between the two states
a place of absolute ballance

Lost in the form of though

This has so many diffrent aspects but similar to the above example lost
could be the deat centre of the ballance waiting for a choise of many choices to be made

Lost as in the feeling

This also has many diffrent form but the lost feeling i would believe is born of chaos
having many things to do but not knowing were to start. Or having some form of solution but
many ways to do this. This would give a feeling of lost from not knowing what option to choose
that sute best. Or from feeling stressed from pressuer to meet deadlines or to get a project completed

I have many other such examples
but i think you get the idea

Have fun all
Yrth

[Blackwoodforest]

You mean to say you are lost because you feel and you are not sure of telling us? Why do you tell us then anyway? Because you WANT to. We might be your social world you created and you NEED us, each and everyone. You need to see who will suggest you something. What is it you want to hear? You are a damn smart guy created a sucial game as masterpiece, and there are so many other things you can be proud of, but at least, if you WANT to feel lost - then you will be lost in mind. Means you shouldn´t seek a specific meaning or logical reason for everything, go and enjoy some events and life actions without analyzing them and just take a few reactions and suprises as result. Do not try to understand everything or control it.

Example? If you like movies, don´t watch "a beautiful mind" and compare life with it, take a few minutes on a "Jay and silent Bob movie" and simply enjoy the stupidity!

Just my two cents

[Aysun]

Mur, only those who do not know who they are in their heart and at the very root of their soul become lost. Paths we go down, relationships, might lead us to dead ends, but that does not mean that we ourselves are the ones turned around- just that particular option is no longer valid or viable.

Even the oracle at Delphi had inscribed within the temple she presided over the phrase "gnōthi seauton", or, as we say in classical english, "Know Thyself". Not even an augury of the future can hold any meaning to one who does not 'Know Thyself', or knows him/her self. Purpose is built upon who you are. You cannot hold a purpose to yourself if you do not know who you are.

Gain insight, Mur. Philosophy only goes so far. We are not built upon philosophy, but something so much finer than that.

[CrazyMike]

Getting lost is a way of life.

It is nature's way of rebooting ourselves.

It is a reminder of what we are suppose to be doing.

People with no goals, purpose or direction never gets lost.

It is better to know one is lost and to be able to look for a direction than to not even know one is lost!

Step back from what you are doing, reevaluate what you were doing or what you plan to do.

Sometimes we are so passionate in what we are doing, so deep in what we have planned, we lose sight of the big picture.

Some take a vacation, some take a little break.......

Have a smoke, grab some coffee, go out..... watch the people around you and get some perspective.

Go clubbing, get sloshed!

Just remember you are only lost if you choose to stay lost.

Life is full of options, you are what you choose to be.

[Muratus del Mur]

hmm, some of your ideas about lost are very useful for me. thank you.

[(Zl-eye-f)-nea]

The great failing of Western Philosophy is its analytics, the great failing of Eastern Philosophy is its lack of it. They are also their greatest strengths and what makes them what they are.

The distance between my ideal me in my head and how well I am capable of seeing the real me that exists and how close that real me is to my ideal me tends to be what controls my feeling of being lost. This ideal version of self is difficult to describe as it isn't a "perfect" you or something like that, it is more like a simple list of points that all need to be checked, the rest not being main affecting factors. If you consider what people do when they are having a mid-life crisis etc you will see a sort of example of what I mean. Arguably however this gives you a pointer to how to not feel lost and therefore cannot truely be "lost", but I'm not about to write an essay here lol.

Its not a nice feeling I know, keep your head up man.

Z

[Curiose]

I was once told something from someone who I know sees the world differently than I do.

"Being lost is a good thing. It allows you to remember your surroundings better, and not pass them by as pages in a book."

I find truth in that meaning.

The sense of being lost is just a temporary feeling. If you know where you are, you cannot possibly be lost, right? But that is wrong. You can know where you are, and yet be suffocated by the words and reasonings of people, the myriad of voices, and thoughts; people walking hastily by.

To become lost, is a sense of recognition. Its a sense of ambition. You feel the natural urge to move forward, and become unlost. You spend more detail to things than you have before if you were not lost.

Perhaps I am rambling, and perhaps I am not.

To this day, I cannot remember who has spoken that quote to me, but I hope that these.. ramblings, if you call them that, can be of help.

I hope you find what you are looking for, and I hope all goes well for you in the future.

Curiose.

[Kafuuka]

"Our purpose is to have a purpose."
I don't think an analytical person can feel like he/she is truly without a goal. You might not be certain what it is or which one is the most important, yet by thinking about your goal you implicitly form one. You can feel lost yet at the same time feel comfortable about knowing you feel lost.

As Zleip also mentioned, analysis isn't everything. - Knowing the cause does not necessarily grant you power over it, nor is it an absolute requirement to control it; it came to be without knowledge so it might go by itself too - I suppose the best we can offer is the knowledge that others understand you and a sense of belonging. (Of course I could be completely wrong, but someone in this thread is bound to say something right eventually.)


@Curiose: that's exactly how I discover new places and explore cities, forgetting my map and getting lost. It sucks if you need to be somewhere urgently but it's surprisingly fun when you have idle time.

[Thanatopic]

The opposite of lost to me is centered. Sometimes i'll feel diffused, there are parts of me everywhere, and I don't know how to reclaim them. Other times i'll feel hurt, and unwilling to pull the covers off of my head in the morning. And still other times, i'll see no way out of the current situation, and feel suffocated. It allboils down to just..not knowing which way to go, or perhaps having no control at all over the direction. Adrift at sea, in the middle of a tall wood, in the eye of a storm.

Ultimately, I have to find my center, collect my thoughts and self, and once again assert myself to the world in the way I best deem appropriate. A night out at the local dive bar with the boys. Maybe a night away from the boys, and chainsmoking in the my basement. A weekend at the beach, a few hours with my nose in a book. I don't believe you're a religious man, but prayer helps me a good bit. It's the best centering technique I've found, but at the same time it's the hardest for me to do.

As to the losing everything so you won't be lost? I get that, really get that. That's how I did it way back, when I saw no way out of my life. I didn't know who I was, and was lost because of it. No direction, no knowledge. So I gradually destroyed everything inside of me, until i got down to the things that couldn't be destroyed. That's how I found myself, and I was no longer lost. So It's not a crazy thought you have, but It's a long road dude. And it's not something any kind of will-power will get you though; quite the opposite in fact. You have to learn how to let everything go.

I can't offer you any advice, other than the previous recitation of how I did/do it. Everyone is different.

Edited September 1, 2010 by Thanatopic

[Totenkopf]

"feeling lost" is just your subconscious telling you "hey! [i]beep[/i] that [i]beep[/i] stuff you feel forced into doing, do something you really want to do, and for that matter how about a cheeseburger?!"
"feeling lost" is also you not wanting to make tough decisions, so how 'bout it? choose life, carpe noctem mon ami, and take that [i]beep[/i]ing cheeseburger and EAT THE HELL out of it!

Edited September 2, 2010 by Totenkopf

[awiiya]

Mur, if you do decide to give up all of MD to see if it allows you to better find yourself, then leave someone in charge of it and go off. Please leave the community intact.

Awi

[apophys]

I think contacting the MD community may be part of Mur finding himself, as MD is a precious thing to Mur.



From what it seems to me, there is something big bothering you, Mur; something that requires an important decision, which you probably procrastinate doing. Or maybe a problem exists that you are unsure how to solve. Either way, solving your problem should dissipate the lost feeling.

The problem could be related to your perceived future, MD's future, a current crisis, an old scarring experience, falling in love, etc. If the problem is uncertainty about the future, make a plan of action and control your future.

Think about this and answer to yourself. It might help gain a perspective.
(I've never really felt disturbingly lost myself, so I don't know how helpful this is... but I try to be helpful anyway. )

lost = chaotic mind
found = peaceful mind

Edited September 2, 2010 by apophys

[Tarquinus]

Joseph Campbell (sometimes accused of being "Eliade without footnotes") observed that if the message of all myth in human history could be condensed to one sentence, it would be: follow your bliss. Many think they can guide their lives by making rational decisions. My experience is that reason very rarely decides anything when emotions come into the picture, and that many people are more emotional than rational. Do what brings you deep happiness and let the rest sort itself out. carpe noctem, as Toten says, and don't worry about the next.

Edited September 2, 2010 by Tarquinus

[Chewett]

[quote name='awiiya' timestamp='1283398098' post='67534']
Mur, if you do decide to give up all of MD to see if it allows you to better find yourself, then leave someone in charge of it and go off. Please leave the community intact.Awi
[/quote]

Ye of little faith

[Kafuuka]

[quote name='Chewett' timestamp='1283491183' post='67593']
Ye of little faith
[/quote]
I don't think he's the only one being of little faith. He's the only one being honest about it and for that I commend him.