Ritual of Self-Renewal
Intro
Sometimes we become lost. An instance in our lives may change our circumstances, causing us to veer from the path we once believed to be the correct one.
An example of this would be losing a loved one, one that we held dear to us. Such a loss can lead to "rituals" of self-destruction like drowning emotions in alcohol, becoming angry and hateful at all reminders of the person, sometimes even at the deceased one, thinking them selfish for leaving you and causing you such pain. But the most common reason of all? Sorrow.
Sorrow, when allowed to overwhelm us, changes us, whether we mean it to or not. This could be through loss of appetite, depression, quietness; all of these change us, lead us on a new path
Ritual
This ritual is one of self-renewal after loss, removing sorrow before it overwhelms.
For this I am going to use an example, a ritual of self-renewal I saw when I first arrived. Molquert's "Fat Tuesday".
Now, this came in two parts - the rather sombre procession and the merriment of drinking. I will explain the "ritualistic" sides of both.
Procession
A procession like Molquerts allows us to remember him and relieve our sorrows, whilst being able to support and comfort friends and/or family going through the same bereavement process.
Walking through an area - often one that held meaning to the deceased - brings back memories we might have had of them there. Remembering the times they were happy and alive. Walking in a group allows people to show support to one another, helping those that struggle to remember the deceased or their times of joy. This gives people the strength to stand back up, brush themselves off and fight through the feelings of depression and loneliness, as they remember the good and understand they are not alone, that they have people there to help them if they need it.
Standing in silence at the deceased one's grave allows for the time to say "goodbye", showing your final respects and giving time for those last floods of sorrow to escape.
Both of these together allows for the person grieving to understand that whilst they might be gone from this world, they are never gone from our hearts of heads; lending some comfort to the situation.
The Wake
A wake can be one of pure respect, remembrance and a final time to release for those grieving or it may be a merry one with songs, games, dance and alcohol. Both of these are fine to do, it depends on the people involved: both what the living want and what the dead would have wanted.
Dancing, drinking, partying, these all raise the spirits of the mourners, allowing them to remember the deceased through happiness and laughter, helping to push out those last few drops of sorrow.
Again, this fortifies the knowledge that they aren't alone, that there are others around them that are going through the same process, giving the person the strength to fight on, not just for their sake...but everyone else's.
"Conclusion"
Although this process doesn't work for all, the "What to do" remains the same :
Mourn >> Remember >> Rejoice
Ruminating on thoughts of sorrow will lead to destructive actions and consequences, so it is essential to be happy, remember the good and surround yourself with those of similar feelings so that you can support each other and know you're not alone. Sadness is normal and expected, but don't allow the sorrow (deeper feelings of sadness) to destroy you.
Doing this at any stage of sorrow, the beginning or 5 months in, will help you to find the correct path again. Though, the longer you leave it the harder it becomes. It won't be easy but determination is the key.
(This is more of a generic "ritual", using the Fat Tuesday as an example. Hope that's allowed? :S)