What you seem to be suggesting is that we of the community, when doing anything, must ask anybody who will be affected by the action before acting.
Examples: Before killing someone, you must make sure they know something is happening. Before tying them down, make sure to say *tries to tie down personx*.
I agree that in the case of something "imaginary" (lacking in-game support) it is necessary and polite to make sure that all parties in an action are in agreement. If I were to cast a spell I didn't have on somebody, I would make sure that they were going to play along before I did it.
In the case of a game mechanic, such as spells, items, etc, I think it is perfectly acceptable for someone to act without the permission of another. We jail people without asking them whether they want to be jailed, and I think it's fine to kill them without asking as well. If the game gives you the power to do something then everybody else has to abide by that. The only set of rules we ALL have to obey are the ones that are hard coded. The social rules, which is the majority of roleplay, are best left to group consensus.
I've been criticized before for casting a GoE spell on someone without asking, and people have called me rude for doing so. It is within my power, and so I feel no guilt, and so perhaps I am deserving of their criticism. However, I still hold that if someone is given the power to enforce their actions, it is not in poor "manners" to act on their desires without asking.
That is what this conversation boils down to: what is the proper etiquette of roleplaying? In my case, I do not think casting spells without asking is rude. I do think that using asterisks to perform actions that are not hardcoded is rude. That is a line I draw, though I can see how you would draw a vastly different line. I will maintain my belief, whether or not it is considered rude.
Awi